Ask a Very Smart Brotha: Are My Male Friends Keeping Me From Finding a Man?

July 25, 2012  |  

Dear Damon,

I need  some advice. I’m currently single and I’m thinking about being single for the next ten years. I’ve had my heartbroken really bad and it makes me want to give up on trying to have a boyfriend or a significant other. People say that seems highly unlikely since I’m only 23 years old and I have the rest of my life ahead of me. Yet, I feel like this is what’s best for me in this stage of my life.  The last guy put me through so much I honestly can’t do it again. I wanted to know your thoughts. Do you think I should spend the rest of my life collecting cats and sitting at home alone? Or do you think I should give it another try?



Dear Heartbroken,

I’m sorry about your situation. Heartbreak is a real thing — an actual, physical aliment — and I won’t dare attempt to minimize the pain and/or depression you’re currently feeling. It sucks.

Thing is, as time passes, it sucks progressively less. And then, one day, you’ll wake up and see that it doesn’t suck at all anymore. Yes, you need to take time “off” and heal, but you will eventually heal, and you will meet/date/and possibly fall in love again. It may seem far-fetched right now, but Shyte, Snoop is about to release a reggae album. My point? With time (and some weed) anything is possible.


Damon Young

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