Everyone seems to have their vices that can sidetrack their dating life, whether it’s work, the cell phone or other friends. For some men, it seems like their attention span goes to only one thing in their life at a time, which could be the distraction that strains your connection with him.
The pressures of dating a guy who is constantly distracted by the littlest, useless things (if you ask me), like video games, their cell phone, etc., could say a lot about him at that moment in his life. Take college life as a first example. Dating in college is a whole other ballgame in itself, with its own rules and playing field, but the pressure to feel like you are competing with video games, parties and constant drinking (and possibly drug use) lets off some red flags.
In college, I dated the typical guys who were sometimes just as busy and involved as I was: taking classes, working part-time for the school and heavily involved in extracurricular activities. Even though a lot of those responsibilities took up a lot of my time, I still made time to party and have downtime, just like any college student does. Dating in college when downtime for most guys consists of parties and sitting on the couch all day playing on their Playstation (oh, excuse me, Xbox) can be very trying on the relationship, especially when most of their attention and motivation goes to those “side distractions.” On a more positive note, college can definitely weed out the “real-world” weak from the strong, doing the hard work for you when it comes to dragging that relationship past undergrad and being disappointed when nothing has changed but the video games.
Once I got out into the “real-world” after college, where my career and professional growth became one of my main priorities, I thought that it would be easier to find a guy who isn’t distracted by the menial things, but instead of video games and parties, it was the cell phone and social networking that became the elephant in the room of dating. From answering the phone in the middle of a conversation to checking Twitter, texts and emails all day, the cell phone became the new “video game” in my new “grown-up” dating life. Some were too busy being distracted by every notification on their phone, that a valuable connection only seemed to happen via phone, DM or email, and personal time only occurred between the late-night hours.
From cell phones, to video games, to other friends, distractions seem to plague the dating world in some form or another, but I do not believe all is lost for the attention span of some men. With a healthy balance of work and play, I believe some distractions could be beneficial and not destructive to a relationship, like focusing on a growing career or business (better than a guy not being motivated, not working but still spending a great deal of time on those video games). As I look to find that balance, I hope to find the man who can put his distractions and “toys” aside sometimes to grow up and grow old with me.
What types of distractions are you noticing that men you date have in their lives?
Blair Bedford is a media professional and freelance writer/contributor based out of NYC. Follow Blair B. on Twitter @BlairsPadandPen.
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