First Date, First Impression: Is It Really You?

July 18, 2012  |  

How important is it to make a good first impression? Does the first impression someone gives define who they are? It is said that first impressions last forever, and the first thing you do is the last thing someone remembers. In most cases these statements are true because what you do, what you say, and the way you look will lead people to summarize who you are in less than five minutes.

In the world of dating, we all know that a first date is designed for two people who are interested in each other to get to know each other on a beginning personal level to see if there is a possibility of engaging in a relationship. During a first date, people generally engage in casual conversation over dinner to learn if they have any similar interests while simultaneously observing each other’s actions. Many people spend hours, or even days preparing for a date with someone in order to put their best foot forward, and to give an impressive impression. But how many people give a different impression from who they truly are on a first date, and why?

Most people have the tendency to mask who they truly are on a first date because they don’t want to reveal too much about who they really are to someone they barely know because they may not be comfortable around them yet, they may fear that the person will not accept them for who they are, or they may lack self-knowledge and confidence in who they are. Holding back your authentic personality from someone on a first date has its pros and cons. The pros of holding back your true inner identity will allow you to keep a mysterious persona, which will entice the person to want to learn more about who you are, which in turn can lead to more intriguing conversations and dates. It will also allow you to observe the other person’s character which can help you decide if you want to pursue a relationship with them. The cons of holding back your inner identity is that the person may think you are someone you are not, and when the real you is revealed they may not like who you really are. Also, if you are presenting someone else on a first date, other than who you are, the person may think that you are a phony and begin to question your integrity.

When going on a first date, it is important to put your best foot forward, but it is also important to stay true to yourself. When you don’t stay true to yourself, you take on the identity of a stranger and that identity becomes a part of you that you may have to adjust to, which in turn leads you to become someone that you may or may not like or recognize. When prepping to go on a first date, you should consider where the date will take place, and dress to act accordingly; however this does not mean to step completely outside of who you are.

Many women have the tendency to go the extra mile to impress a man by putting on extra make up outside of their daily routine, purchase new clothing, wearing uncomfortable shoes and under garments to give an extraordinary impression to someone that may be around for a brief moment. We even compromise places to go just to impress our companion in hopes of starting a relationship, when the reality is this is only a first date and nothing more. Now granted, a first date can lead to the beginning of a beautiful relationship, but you want the person you are interacting with to know who you are. And while it takes time to truly get to know someone, it helps to give them a good start by being who you know how to be.

First impressions indeed last forever, and you want to be sure that the impression you give on a first date is the person you are and will be on dates to come, and if someone doesn’t like you for who you are, then they are not worthy of your time. How many times have you altered who you are to impress someone? Why? Did it work?

Liz Lampkin is the Author of “Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For?” Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin




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