What’s appealing about this book is there’s a focus on the woman’s enjoyment. It’s not about how a woman makes the male character feel, it’s about what she experiences, her own pleasure and the release she feels in this “controlling” relationship. Too often a woman’s “worth” is supposed to be determined by how she makes others feel. The book is a “selfish” one in that ultimately only the female character’s gratification matters. He gets his pleasure from pleasing her. That typically isn’t a hyped notion in pornography, but surveys have been done that show most men desire sexual partners who are really, really into them, enjoy being with them and are excited about the experience.
The high level of disrespect, degradation and objectification that fills our sexual based media doesn’t actually represent what most people want out of their real sexual relationships. It’s kind of like how no one expects to dunk like Jordan the first time they play basketball (or any time for that matter), but they enjoy watching pro-ball. Men like all the weirdness and shock value and titillation of Adult Videos, but not everyone is running out trying to force themselves on women or create elaborate rape fantasies.
But women often think they need to have these perfect bodies and perfect appearances to enjoy sex. Like, they don’t deserve love or sex unless they obtained some illusive photoshopped image. But so little of anyone’s life is perfect. You’re supposed to just put all that on hold until the Supermodel Body Fairy comes down and makes you Naomi Campbell for the day?
Only good things can come from women getting a little shook up and more relaxed in talking about sex, their enjoyment of it and how it’s not just about what a guy wants all the time, but what you both want — together.
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