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Today my friend called me and asked, what I originally thought was an obvious question. “Gurl, how important is an engagement ring to you?” The question came with a story about a couple of her coworkers. One of them, a man who’s in his early 20s proposed to his girlfriend of seven years. Though, he had the ring when he initially proposed, he had to send it back to Kay because it was the wrong size. All of this would have been acceptable if homegirl’s engagement parties weren’t coming up. She was going to be without a ring for her parties and that was unacceptable. She called Kay’s corporate headquarters complaining about their tardiness.

In that case, the ring wouldn’t have been that important to have. Sure one would like to have an engagement ring for engagement parties; but if it’s not there because it’s being resized, then that’s something I could live with. My engagement, and the subsequent celebration, is more about the person I’m going to spend my life with than the ring said man bought me.

Apparently, another one of my friend’s coworkers shared my sentiments. But she took it a step further. She told my friend that though she had been married for eight years, she’d only received her ring two years ago. She rationalized the statement by saying that “I didn’t need a ring because I married for love.”

Hmm… Sure, the ring is not everything but I can’t cosign going without one for eight years.

I know I’m not the only woman who thinks the ring is a symbol of the love a man has for you. In other words, if a man knows you want a ring, the love he has for you should compel him to get you one. And I don’t say that to mean that it has to be extravagant. We’re going into this marriage under the assumption that we’re going to be together until death. So if you have to go the cubic zirconia route in the interim, I’m cool with that because we can always upgrade. But a ring of some kind is important.

And in all honesty, I want the ring to mean a lot to him too. A man who always has an excuse as to why he just can’t wear his wedding ring is a suspect individual. If you’ve lost weight and it no longer fits, congratulations…but you need to be in the process of getting it adjusted. If you get your hands dirty during the day, that’s nice but it needs to be in your work locker, in the car, or on a dresser so it can be replaced at your earliest convenience. If you’re a married man walking around with no so much as a tan line where your ring should be, I have to question your commitment.

We all know that there are women who will throw themselves at a man, your ring serves as a deterrent…at least for the women who have some semblance of a moral compass. (We all know there are plenty who are actually attracted to the ring.)

Your wedding ring is a physical sign of your spiritual commitment.

But that’s just me. Ladies, how important is the ring to you?

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