Women are hardwired to become more attached and to be more sensitive. So, naturally, we’re predisposed to getting burnt. Because of this, many women can begin to form a hard shell. They can start to think every single guy will burn them and so they think that being a jerk is fair game, and the only way to win this game called “The Singles Scene.” But, that mentality is all wrong. Just because everyone else lost their morals somewhere between the frat house and Vegas, doesn’t mean you should too. Your only shot at attracting a nice guy is by being nice. So get ready to be burnt, but also possibly find love, and stop with these heart-protecting tactics.
Being unable to say no
If you don’t like someone, tell him! Sometimes men feed women the opportunity and straight up ask: “Are you just not into me?” Instead of taking that opportunity, women are so afraid of having a grown up conversation, they spew out things like, “No no no! Not at all! That’s totally not it. I’ve just been so busy. I’ve had a lot on my mind…” Sure, you’ve had guys drag you along. But, that’s exactly the point. You know how much that hurt! Just rip the band aid off for the poor guy. Relieve him of his misery, even if that means having to have an awkward conversation.
Trying to pass him off
No man wants to feel like a charity case. And no one—of any gender—likes to be set up when they don’t even know it’s happening! Also, none of your friends want your leftovers. Please do not invite a guy who likes you, and will automatically read that invite as “she likes me!” to some place where you plan on pushing him onto your friend all night. Everyone will end up embarrassed.
Trying to slide him into the friend zone
Look, if you have even so much as made out with a guy, there is no way he’s suddenly going to be okay with just being friends. He’s tasted the forbidden fruit now. He doesn’t just want to hang out with the tree. And you’re leading him on if you’ve gotten physical with him, and then invite him out on a night that you intend on staying away from him. The guy doesn’t need more friends. He wants a date. A hookup. A girlfriend. A slampiece. You name it, it’s just not a friend.
Sleeping with him when he’s crushing on you
Sure, men do it all the time. They sleep with a woman they know likes them, when they have no intentions of dating her. In fact, they exploit the fact that the woman likes them, and pretend to go along with it to get laid. But, that doesn’t mean you should do that! Some men do have feelings, and will be just as hurt if you do and ditch them as someone has done to you.
Going for his friend
As Jerry Seinfeld so perfectly put it, you can’t pull “the switch.” If you’ve been seeing a guy, and realize you’re far more attracted to his friend/brother/roommate etc., walk away from the situation. First of all, pursuing the friend will only make you look like a witch to that exact friend you’re attracted to. And, if it did go anywhere, you’d be putting the first guy through such an ego crush.
Calling just for attention
There is one thing a guy who likes you, that you don’t like back, is good for: making you feel special. We’ve all done it—called the guy (probably drunkenly) who we know will fawn over us, buy us drinks, adore us and make us feel beautiful, even though we have no intention of hooking up with him. It’s one of the bitchiest things you can do. You’re boosting your ego while deflating someone else’s. Need an ego boost? Read one of those little books of positive sayings you find on the back of toilets. Don’t toy with someone’s emotions.
Taking advantage of labels
“Well, we’re not exclusive yet…” Oh come on. You know when somebody has developed deep feelings for you. And you know when you’re probably the only person they’re seeing. Don’t take advantage of the fact that exclusivity hasn’t been established to hook up with someone else when you know you’ll be hurting someone.
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