Ask a Very Smart Brotha Live: What’s With All the Diva Dudes?

June 20, 2012  |  
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Jessica: (A) Is there a such thing as the Kanye/Donald Glover complex? Men who are now grown and fully adult holding on to the angst of their dating rejection youth. I would like to hear your opinion, but I think this is the case. (B) Women endure the same rejection and growth process, but men seem to hold on to this angst, why is this deemed socially acceptable and not treated as an emotional disorder?

D.Y.: Jessica: Basically, what you’re talking about is men getting a little “hot” and becoming dogs to make up for the years that they were ugly ducklings. Mike Jones made a pretty popular song about this phenomenon (“Back Then”), and I actually have a term for these types of guys: “Diva Dudes” (Check here for more info.)

Thing is, men aren’t the only ones to allow pain/rejection from their past to affect their current lives. Perhaps you just feel that this is a man-specific trait because, well, (I’m assuming) you haven’t dated any women. You may think I’m being defensive by throwing women in there, but the best way to deal with this way of thinking not to think “only men or only women do this” but to remember that men and women do much of the same stuff. Doing that helps us communicate with each other better, and will help to prevent more Diva Dudes from being born.

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