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You’ll have to excuse my grammar on that headline, but after what I witnessed on VH1 18 hours or so ago, it feels appropriate. Last night “Love and Hip Hop Atlanta” premiered on VH1, and yes, I watched, and no, I’m not ashamed. Aside from the fact that there were points where I needed an interpreter or at least subtitles and Lil Scrappy’s mother (Momma Dee) being a former pimp and the embodiment of Frankie and Mama Jones rolled into one (they did have to use subtitles for her by the way), in my opinion the show wasn’t so much a detrimental exploitation of black women as it was a sad representation of naive, lovestruck women in general.

I tuned in maybe three or four minutes after the show started so it wasn’t until I’d sat through all of Stevie J, Mimi, and Joselin’s disturbing love triangle, that I caught the opening segment of the show on the 10 pm viewing and realized Stevie and Mimi had been messing around for 15 years. And messing around is exactly what he was doing last night and likely for the entire decade-plus that she’s been calling him her man because there’s no way a guy could suddenly be that bold when the cameras start rolling. And the fact that he was that obvious with High-Definition film capturing every moment tells me he just doesn’t give a damn. He came into the situation that way—and from the sounds of things, Mimi always knew it. I wanted to call them the Jim and Chrissy of the show, but even Jim wasn’t that bad and he managed to put a ring on it in about half the time that Stevie has—if he ever will. You could say he bought Mimi a house but it was clear that home was like hush money: Stay out here in the burbs with the baby while I do me in the apartment in the city.

Not far behind Mimi was Erica Dixon who admitted that rapper Lil Scrappy essentially left her as soon as he blew up. And then when we forgot about A-town stompin’ and the allure of Lil John went away, so did his fame and his replacement chick, Diamond, and surprise, surprise, he came back “home.” I’d like to point out that after 10 years with this woman, Scrappy made it clear last night he wasn’t 100 percent sold on the idea of being with the mother of his child, while she somehow thought she won the prize because this man eventually came back to her. No, hun. No one else wanted him.

What was bad was as I watched the show I wanted to say, women like this don’t really exist but they do. I’ve seen them. I’ve nearly been them, except it only took me three years of off-and on-ing with somebody to be like, oh, ok so you’re just never going to have your ish together, huh? Good to know. But I’ve seen the friends who have done seven years, had a kid that they think gives them top priority amongst a slew of other women who were smart enough not to let this man plant his seed, and thought they were top notch because he always came back. What’s a bigger shame on this show is women in their 30s and 40s don’t know any better and they don’t mind if millions of viewers know they don’t.

This is the point where signing up to be exploited comes in to play because this show isn’t really revealing anything to Mimi or Erica, they’ve known all along that the men in their lives weren’t even making half-a**ed efforts to be with them. And I’m sorry, it’s one thing for you to do me dirty and I find out, it’s another for you to embarrass me in front of my friends with your shenanigans, and it’s a whole other beast to sign up to be made a fool of on national TV. But really it all goes hand in hand. If you don’t think enough of yourself to not waste your time on a man who isn’t even trying to front like he’s monogamous, then you certainly won’t see a problem looking like a fool in front of the general public.

I was going to say I need one of these chicks to have an Emily B. epiphany like within two episodes but I forgot she backtracked down the Fabolous lane too. (Sigh RIP to  that whole independent woman spiel.) Regardless, I’m going to need the Atlanta ladies to get a clue and some self-respect ASAP and realize the only love these men have for them is loving the fact that they can do what they want to do when they want to do it and they won’t go anywhere, i.e. no love.

Check out a few clips of the love, or lack thereof, below. What did you think of last night’s premiere?

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