Ask a Very Smart Brotha Live: Dealing With His Crazy Baby Mother & Can You Get Over Wack Sex?

June 6, 2012  |  
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Teria: Hi Damon,
I’d like to know why damaged people still seek relationships when they know they shouldn’t, resulting in hurting a string of others?

D. Y. : Same reason why people eat chicken fried bacon burgers even though they know it’s bad for you. The immediate positives have a way of making us forget about the long-term negatives.

Jacque: Hello Damon, this is really a “man” question, if I may. If a man tells you straight up that he loves women {pu**y} do you believe he will ever settle down? (Dude is 40.) I love everything about him except that of course. I am NOT his woman, he doesn’t have one.

D.Y. : Newsflash: Every straight man LOVES (in all caps) pu**y. LOVES. L-O-V-E-S. The lengths we’ll go through to get it depends on the man, but every single straight man who has ever lived on this planet (and any other planet where pu**y happens to exist) is totally and completely in love with it. Despite this, many men still do somehow find a way to commit to a woman, and the underlying love of pu**y has nothing to do with that.

Erica: Do you believe in astrology and do you think it can have a bearing on dating? i.e. water signs dating fire signs.

D. Y. : I don’t — I think it’s a form of conformation bias (we know what traits we’re “supposed” to possess, and look for all evidence that “proves” we do possess them) — but I also won’t discount the possibility that the time a person enters the world might have an effect on their world view. I mean, a baby born during a gloomy and painful 15-degree day would probably have a different first impression of the world than a baby born during a perfect, 75-degree day would. But, frankly, I think its kind of stupid to apply those concepts to our dating lives.

L’Tunya: Hello Damon….My question is….Is it normal when you’re attracted to a guy physically and mentally, but sexually he doesn’t quite light your fire? I mean the sex is not all that bad. I mean i really like the guy, but sexually I’m just not there yet….Whats wrong with me? What can I do?

D.Y. : Sexual compatibility is one of those things that can get better with time. It’s not uncommon for couples to have merely “decent” sex at first, but grow to have great sex once you get to know each other and each other’s bodies/likes/dislikes and more.

Shaneil: Hi Damon! Is it disrespectful to text/call another guy if you’re around your ex? My ex and I are good friends, but I can tell he still has those feelings for me, but for me…not so much o_O

D.Y. : How would you feel if your boyfriend was still sending and receiving texts from an ex who wanted to sleep with him?

Shaneil: Pissed! Thanks for the advice…I got some apologizing to do! 🙂

Shawanda: Damon I need your input! My boyfriend’s ex came to town for the holiday. She goes to his house now, and he had already told her about me and that he’s involved. Her daughter gets his phone and gets my number and gives it to her, and this woman text me an old picture of them and starts talking trash. I didn’t respond to the text cause I’m too mature for that! I confront him and he says she wanted to talk. I told him, “You told her you were involved, there’s nothing to talk about.” What’s your opinion on that?

D.Y.: Your question brought up a few more questions. You sure it was the “daughter” who confiscated the phone and gave it to her mother? S**t, I don’t even like it when my mom has possession of my phone, so it’s hard for me to imagine how this kid got hold of your man’s phone. Also, why did the ex feel the need to go to his house (and take her kid with her)?

Shawanda: Damon I agree. He claims the daughter used the phone, but it could have been the ex that got it. Mind you they used to live together all the rest is still a mystery to me!

D.Y. : Yeah, this situation doesn’t pass the sniff test. Something is rotten in Denmark and s**t.

Shawanda: I agree Damon thanks!

Kourtney: Hey Damon. My boyfriend is very secretive with his phone and will flip out if I even touch it. Is this a sign he may be cheating? And also he is still very close with his ex, he talks to her everyday. Should I be concerned?

D.Y.: Perhaps, and definitely.

If you have a relationship question you would like Damon to answer, feel free to email us at editors@madamenoire.com.

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