Ask a Very Smart Brotha Live: Signing Papers & Dating Younger Men

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Erika: Damon, could you please give your thoughts on the arrested development of black men today as it relates to relationships and what women are to do? If another man in his mid 30s tells me he’s not ready for a relationship as if he’s still in his 20s I’ll scream. I mean even a man in his late 20s I dated recently would speak in terms of what he wants to be/do when he “grows up. ” News flash: Ya BEEN grown, son! Smh. BTW I’m a professional black woman in my mid 30s trying to hang with y’all but you’re making it hard for a sista…

DY:  That, my friend, is the trillion dollar question all of Black America is trying to figure out.

The answer basically comes down to this:

“I’m not ready to be in a relationship right now” = “I’m not at a place in my life yet where I have enough status to have access to the type of woman I want to have a long-term commitment to” or “I’m doing perfectly fine right now. Why the hell should I commit to one woman?”

Also, I will say that the tenuousness of the economy has affecting how men look at relationships. Basically, if a guy doesn’t feel like he’s on solid career/financial ground, he’s probably not going to want to commit/start a family yet

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