Ask a Very Smart Brotha Live: Signing Papers & Dating Younger Men

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Nicole: Damon, my ex and I have been broken up since Oct. 2011. We lived together and have a 2yr old daughter together. When we broke up he instantly moved in with another woman. Last week, he broke up with her and moved into his own place, realizing he wants his family back. Now he and I are beginning to date while he works on himself, but I have this fear that he will continue to date this other woman. If he doesn’t answer his phone when I call, I think he’s with her. I have lost the trust I once had for him. I want our family to work, but until he is back in my house, living with me, I don’t know how to trust him. I believe that if he wants us to work, he should not be dating anyone other than me, as I stopped dating other men so we can work on us. And, I honestly cannot say that he is dating anyone else, it is just a fear that I have. Any suggestions?

DY: My suggestion is to stop dating him until you’ve regained trust in him. Let him know exactly how you feel, and why you need to keep your distance from him until the issue is resolved.

Also, I don’t think it’s as simple as “I’ll trust him when he moves back in.” Either you trust him or you don’t, and right now it seems like you’re quite a few miles away from that exit.

Lastly, if he’s only been broken up with the new chick for a week, don’t you think it’s a bit soon — trust issues or not — to start dating him again anyway?

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