Some people like to say that some friends are like family, and just as there are family members you love who get on your last nerve, your friends can often do the same. You stick with them because you’ve known them for a while and like them, but boy do they do and say things that would get other people cut! (Kidding!) When you don’t let folks know when they’re doing you wrong or upsetting you with certain behaviors early, you’re setting them up to be a consistent pain in the buttocks. Therefore, it would be smart to sit down and talk to your girlfriends about the following things early, way before they become something that jeopardizes your friendship in the long run.
1. Being Upset About Things And Not Letting You Know
Some things truly are small enough for a person to get mad about, but then get over quickly without needing to talk about it. I’m sure we’ve all watched one of our good friends act a donkey to us and then later thought, “Well, she was drunk so…” or “It really wasn’t THAT deep.” But those girlfriends that get mad about something, whether small or big, fume on the low about it, but refuse to disclose to you what exactly that trifling thing was need to be talked to early on. If you have a friend who pretends like she lets things slide but really doesn’t, chances are, she’ll be the one in the future to stop accepting your phone calls, and to go on and tell everyone but you how s****y of a person you supposedly are. Let her know ASAP that whenever she really feels like she was disrespected by you to tell you and be honest. Why? Because you can’t read people’s minds…
2. It’s Called a Secret For a Reason
You love your friends, and it makes sense that you would want to disclose vital or very confidential information to them about the comings and goings of your life. But nothing is worse than when word starts spreading to others about this confidential information. Whether it’s to other friends you weren’t ready to talk to about your issues, or random associates you really aren’t feeling and you don’t want having inside knowledge about you, it’s all wrong. The blabber mouth homie must be put in check early. Either that, or you can just do yourself a favor and not fill her in on any and everything.
3. Stop Trying to Set Me Up With Any and Everybody
Speaking of any and everything, don’t you hate when your friend (with a man) feels the need to try and “save” you from being single by trying to have you holler at an associate of hers you have nothing in common with? Trying to set a friend up once or twice is cool, but if your friend is hell-bent on becoming a habitual low-rent version of Patti Stanger from “Millionaire Matchmaker,” politely let her know that you would rather find a man in the “Crazies” section on Craigslist than to receive her help with your love life again. Especially when all the dude are either in no way your type, or bear a striking resemblance to Harry from Harry and the Hendersons.
4. Being Chronically Late
Seriously, being late a few times to meet at a restaurant or club is not that deep, but if you’re friends with someone who brings a whole new meaning to CP time, then you’ve probably got a problem. Especially if her tardiness is leaving you outside at night, alone, trying to duck and dodge creeps, or causes you to miss whatever it is you both were hoping to check out or something you needed to see/do: the beginning of a good movie, an all-important event, keeps you from going to work, etc. Besides, who likes to stand around or sit alone forever waiting on grown folks?
5. Double Bookers and Users
Didn’t you make plans with your girlfriend? Plans that you passed on visiting other people for? If so, then why is she talking about what she forgot to do with such and such? Double booking friends who want to be everything to everybody don’t realize how much they’re playing themselves and the people they flake out on. It’s okay every once in a while, but if homegirl consistently gets you excited about going to that new restaurant and then says, “Oh wait,” she has to go meet up with what’s-his-face, then it’s probably time to let her know the real deal. And for folks planning to visit friends who live out of town, please don’t stay with that friend, yet spend your time in town hanging with EVERYBODY else but the host. That’s rude…
And those friends who don’t know how to do for others but are constantly asking you to go out of your way, yet don’t have an ounce of gas money or a thanks to offer should be put in line too. Just saying.
What else would you add to the list of things friends need to be checked about early?
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