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If you watched “Basketball Wives last night”—and kudos if you didn’t—there were a couple of romantic scenes with Royce and her boyfriend, NFL player Dezmond Briscoe. In one scene, Royce talked about what it meant for Dez to meet her father and they both declared they were in love with each other and marriage was likely in the future. In the other, Dezmond planned a romantic dinner for Royce and then she surprised him wearing nothing but lingerie and a bath robe and they both almost forgot the cameras were there. It was sweet—and almost raunchy—but they kept it on the right side of romantic.

If you’re single, you probably thought, aww I want a man like that; if you’re in a relationship, you probably felt grateful for the man you have; if you were Dezmond’s baby mama, you would have thought, I got something to kill all of that.

Last night, out of nowhere, Christina Nero, the mother of Dezmond’s son, Dezmond Briscoe, Jr., initiated a Twitter war with Royce that she claimed stems from “hearing” Royce said some nasty things about her. After saying what she heard she dropped a little FYI that Dez had been sending her “freaky tweets.”

Not wanting to engage, and being slick at the same time, Royce ignored it, and responded, “…Hows Jr? Cant wait to meet him! :o) He’s getting so big!”

That only added fuel to the fire, and after a few more exchanges, Christina posted a host of messages, allegedly from Dez, proclaiming all of the sexually explicit things he wants to do her. From the responses Christina was giving, it was clear she wasn’t on it, and since the messages were supposedly sent a month ago—although the validity of the texts is completely in question considering different font colors and the potential for fabrication—I have to ask, what’s the motivation? I can only conclude she couldn’t stand to see her ex happy and in love with someone else, especially on national TV.

From the responses she was sending to these alleged texts, I don’t think she would touch Dez with a 10-foot pole, especially if she’s the deadbeat daddy she claims he is. But something about seeing him happy and deeply in love as he proclaimed to be on last night’s show brought the hater out of her, and either she exposed suggestive texts Dez sent her or she fabricated them altogether. Either way she put the business out there publicly and on purpose to be spiteful. This situation is why I wrote a long time ago that I don’t think mistresses should confess that they’ve been sleeping with someone’s man—it always has the wrong motive, which means they always do it in the worst way. Even if Dez did send these texts, putting them on Twitter for everybody to see says I’m still bitter and I’m not over you, or if I’m not happy with someone else, I don’t want you to be either.

This stunt is hardly unique to the BBW crew. Though some women are more than happy to see an old boyfriend move on, I’ve seen my own friends engage in Facebook battles, putting up old profile pictures with their exes to upset the next girl, knowing they didn’t want anything else to do with that man, but they didn’t want him to be happy either. In the end, they just looked silly because they were putting in a lot of energy on a ship that had already sailed, sunk, and was lying at the bottom of the ocean. It’s the classic, if I can’t have you, nobody else can syndrome, and it’s completely embarrassing on a social media level.

Breakups are never easy and when there’s a child involved and you have to deal with that other person for at least another 18 years of your life, there will definitely be situations that bring up particular emotions or ill feelings that stunt your ability to move on when you may still be wishing things were different. Regardless, Internet battles are definitely not the place to hash it out. In fact, there really isn’t anything to hash out at all. If he’s moved on, let him be. And even if he’s still trying to get on when he has another girl, don’t try to throw her under the bus for choosing a bad dude just like you did. Women have enough problems to deal with without beefing over some man for no reason. If he’s the one you have a problem with, take the anger out on him, Facebook and Twitter stalk all you need to until you get it out of your system, but don’t be careless with her feelings. In all honesty, if things don’t work out with you and a guy the best thing you can do is move on and be happy that you no longer have to deal with him because the reality is, he’s somebody else’s problem now.

Have you ever had to deal with an ex who couldn’t let your man go? Have you ever been that girl trying to stir up beef in your ex’s new relationship?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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