Ask A Very Smart Brotha Live: Herpes Bingo & False Hope

March 22, 2012  |  
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Montana: so… is it wrong to begin cheating on your S.O. because you found out they were cheating on you?

D.Y.: No. Not at all. Herpes bingo is always a fun game to play, so pass the Valtrex and cheat away!

Michelle: Are men more cautious about women they date getting to meet their kids or even meet his kids mom?

D.Y.: That depends on the man. Some get all nervous about the new boo meeting the parents, others get that way about kids. I’ll give you a secret that’s not really a secret, though. You know who men are the most cautious about their new significant other meeting? Their best friend. That, not the parents or the kids, tends to be the ultimate litmus test.

Linda: I am about to give up on love. It seems that most men just want sex. And me wanting to be loved sometimes fall for the game. I have been hurt many times. What should be next for me?

D.Y.: Don’t give up on love, but stop looking for it and being obsessed with it. Just live your life as joyfully as you can and Isht, and — while I can’t promise that love will find you — you’ll be a happier person. And, love has a way of finding people with a positive outlook.

Simone: Is a guy off limits if you were previously talking to his friend (even if it never turned into anything)?

D.Y.: Depends on the guy, how close the friend was, how long it’s been since they dated, the number of sexual positions they did while together, and the season of “The Wire” their relationship most resembled.

Camille: I want to date but it seems like I run them off more than try to conversate, they tell me I am intimidating, I had been in a relationship with the same person for 21 yrs.. we are no longer together and I am just not tolerating no bs from guys because I have tolerated enough already, so what can I do too just keep some friends around at least….

D.Y: Maybe you should stop saying “conversate,” lol. That might be what’s scaring them away. Seriously though, I can imagine that just getting out of a two decades long relationship may give you a different perspective on things, and perhaps your cynicism is palpable. Instead of approaching things with a “ok, how are they gonna eff this up” mindset, try thinking a bit more optimistically.

Rika: if u text and call a guy u trying to patch things up with-more than ten times but he wont respond, Does it mean he’s so over u? am confused

D.Y.: Probably. You can also assume that, while he’s not picking up the phone, he’s sleeping with your co-worker. Or sister.

Syndie: Mr. Young, my husband cheated on me and then left to be with the other woman. I have been told by many people that he will eventually attempt to come back to me…….what should I REALLY expect from him?

D.Y.: Well, I know one thing. You probably shouldn’t expect to get anything from him for Valentine’s Day next year.

Pittsburgh native Damon Young (aka “The Champ”) is the co-founder of the ridiculously Their first book “Your Degrees Won’t Keep You Warm At Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide To Dating, Mating and Fighting Crime” is available at

Do you want to speak to Damon in real time? Join us on our Facebook page, next Wednesday from 1 p.m. to 2 p.m.

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