Stepmom or Stepmonster? Marrying a Man With Kids

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5. Make Time for the Child.

If you don’t like to be around children, then you probably should not date a man with a child. But even if you DO like children, it can still be difficult to open yourself up to a child who isn’t yours and make yourself available to them. Some kids may push you away and not want you all up in their world, especially if they’re teenagers. But younger children may want your attention in order to feel you out and get to know you. I’m not one to force myself on a child, but start slowly and build from there. Ask him or her about school, or ask them how their sports are going (if they’re involved). Show an interest in their activities and friends, and just listen if they want to talk to you.  And if they don’t open up to you, fall back a little bit until it happens organically. Since you are the adult, you have to earn their trust and respect – so just make yourself available and go from there.

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