Stepmom or Stepmonster? Marrying a Man With Kids

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4. Be Civil With the Child’s Mother.

I know this may seem easier said than done, but try (as hard as humanly possible) to get along with your stepchild’s mother. A child’s mother is usually his pulse to the world, so if you get along with her, then the child will benefit and it will hopefully make the transition that much easier. I’m not saying you have to go on weekly shopping trips to the mall or go for coffee every Wednesday, but if you must come in contact with the mother, be cordial. Not all women are catty or petty, so this may not be difficult to do at all. But if the relationship between you and your man and the mother is strained for whatever reason, then avoid contact if folks can’t be civil. The child shouldn’t feel any stress as it relates to you both or feel caught in the middle. Be a grown-up, and be the bigger woman. And by all means, never talk reckless about the biological mother to the child. That will only hurt, not help.

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