What You See Is What You Get: Red Flags Women Ignore

March 17, 2012  |  
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If only women would see the big red flags hiding behind these seemingly inconsequential things, a lot of rough and toxic relationships could be avoided.

Here are the most common misses….

He speaks angrily of an ex

You think, “That’s a good thing! That means he definitely doesn’t have feelings for her anymore.” Think again. Do you really give much of a damn about exes who you don’t have feelings for anymore? In other words—would you get worked up into an angry, cursing vent session about them? No way. If we don’t care about someone, we don’t get mad about them either. If he talks smack about an ex often, that hate is most likely mingled with love. Also, it’s just immature to bad talk an ex, especially to a new love interest!

He doesn’t have friends

You haven’t noticed because, you’ve only gotten the good side of that so far: he’s had tons of time to spend with you. But, eventually, you’ll get over the honeymoon phase and want to go out with your friends and do some things without him and…uh oh. He won’t like it. Because, you’re his world. Also, why doesn’t he have any friends? That’s something worth investigating. He may be untrustworthy and burnt a lot of bridges in his life.

He needs alone time

One day (or for a few days) he says, “I just need to be alone to think.” It comes out of nowhere but you want to be cool so you say, “I totally understand.” But, a stable guy doesn’t say things like that to a new woman he is trying to impress. A stable guy honestly finds it a little too girly to even say that type of thing. If you’ve only been dating for a couple of weeks, and he has so little control over his mood swings that he couldn’t even keep them together around you and needed some “alone time” for a few days, he’s probably got some major issues.

He doesn’t see his parents

In the beginning, it’s far too soon for you to meet his parents and you’re too busy getting to know everything else about each other that it slips your radar that he hasn’t spoken about his parents. But, if a man barely speaks to or sees his parents, he’s probably got some major drama in his family and, honestly, some major anger issues. It’s not healthy to cut ties with your family.

He’s moved a lot

You read this as, “He is adventurous and cultured”. He might actually just be unreliable and too much of a dreamer. He might fail to set roots wherever he lives (i.e. keep a job or keep friends) and just thinks, “There is something wrong with this town, not me, the next town will make everything better!” Don’t be surprised if he is fed up with your town and scheming to move somewhere else in a few months.

Someone has always wronged him

As far as you can tell, his friends and family must be a group of real a**holes because every day he’s got some story of how one of them pissed him off. You like him and want to be supportive so in the beginning, you let him vent and you take his side. But, come on—everyone’s got someone who pissed them off on any given day. It’s only people with major anger or negativity issues who complain about it daily. The rest of us can brush it off and choose not to dwell on it.


He is quiet around your male friends.

Silence is the most difficult thing to read as a problem. But, if your new guy becomes quiet around your male friends, or just other males in general, he probably has major jealousy and trust issues that he is fighting for dear life to hold in. Don’t worry, later, once he’s got you, he’ll let ‘em loose and you probably won’t even be allowed to see those male friends anymore.

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