Ask Taylor, The Wedding Planner: Dealing With a Mom Who Wants to Be TOO Involved
By Taylor Lea Thomas
You’re getting married and your mom is a super proud mother of the bride and revels in the title. Now that you’re in planning mode, you’re a little worried about the fact that she wants you to invite all of her friends, and seems to want to be involved in every little detail of planning your big day and letting you know what’s a good and terrible idea. Uh…No disrespect to your mother, because you want to include her in your wedding plans, however, you don’t want her to take over. Here are a few ways to help your mom feel important by involving her in your wedding planning without fear of her becoming your unofficial wedding planner:
- If your Mom likes being in charge, consider asking her to be the designated go-to person on your wedding day just in case something goes awry. Late participants in the wedding, guest issues–if she spots a problem, she’ll be the person to address it. Also, make sure to provide her with a list of the contact names and phone numbers of all of your vendors just in case one of them is running late or something needs fixing. This will make her feel very important, and of course, as mother of the bride, she is!
- Planning a wedding can sometimes be so stressful that it leaves little time for blending both families together unless you’ve been together for many years. Consider asking her to host informal family dinners for your future in-laws. It doesn’t have to be fancy and can be as simple as a barbecue, spaghetti dinner, Sunday dinner–whatever works, it’s just all about getting everyone fully acquainted and comfortable with one another. Perhaps, she can even prepare a special family favorite dish of yours to share with your groom’s family as a way of showing the blending of two families as one now. You’d love it and I’m sure your groom would appreciate your people making an effort to get to know his family better too.
- It’s easy for a guest list to get out of hand with people you haven’t seen or spoken to in years who expect to be invited. Sometimes invited guests RSVP with more guests than can allow. If you’re trying to narrow your ever growing guest list and need a little assistance for extended family members and others who may be offended that they didn’t get an invite, ask your mom to take on the daunting task of making that dreaded phone call to your cousins and crazy uncle. It will take the stress off of you, and you won’t feel the pressure to give in to “Can I come pretty please?” requests or any guilt trips by distant third cousins. Your mom might enjoy having that final say and putting her foot down for her baby. Awwww!
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