Training Day: Things You Should Never Have To Teach Your Man

April 2, 2012  |  
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“I just told my boyfriend that he better x, y and z more,” my friend says all the time. I can’t help but think, That’s not going to fix anything. If you have to remind the guy to do everything, or at least the things that are important to you, there is something seriously wrong. There are just some things that a man should do on his own. If not, he’s probably never going to do them—at least not with you.

Wondering what they are? Keep reading.

Scheduling you in

Do you find yourself trying to tell your man how to spend time—as in more with you? Ever get annoyed because you hear through the grapevine he’s been at the beach all day, and he didn’t invite you and it was his one day off ?! Let’s be real: while he may not have intentionally avoided calling you, you also didn’t just naturally pop into his mind. And that says enough. Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who thinks of you all on his own?

Phone home

Same thing as above—could he have responded to your text while he was on the toilet, even if that was his only five minutes of free time at work that day? Yup. Could he have plugged his phone in at the airport to give you a call before switching planes? Absolutely. Did he? Nope. He’s probably saying, “I like you, but I’m not going out of his way to let you know it.” Is this the kind of relationship or ‘situation’ you want?


“Be nice to my friends”

You bring him to your friend’s house for dinner, or even your parent’s, and he barely speaks. He sits quietly, eats contently. Nods occasionally. But he doesn’t ask questions, tell stories or engage. You can’t teach a man to be more sociable or care about things he doesn’t care about. He didn’t forget to talk; he just didn’t want to! And it is a big deal that he doesn’t make more of an effort to impress your friends and family. But to him, it isn’t.


Stay by your side

When you go to a party with your boyfriend does he become like an ADD child, running all over the place, conversing with everyone except you? He might say, “Sorry babe, I was distracted. I hadn’t seen those people in forever!” But, no one who genuinely cares about you just forgets that you’re around for an entire party! They would want to know where you were and if you were having a good time. At least occasionally.

He is leaving

Have you ever felt whacked on the face with a big piece of information because you got it too late? For example, your boyfriend starts talking about all the things he is going to do during his two-week work trip in London. But he isn’t talking to you about it; he is talking to his buddy about it—in front of you. You’d never heard of this escapade until his homey called. A man who had strong feelings for you, would have told you immediately because being away from you would have been one of the first things to come to mind, especially since it’s a lengthy trip. How could it doesn’t slip his mind that he’s going away for weeks? Because…he’s just not that in to you. If he really care about you, you rarely slip his mind.

Excuses, excuses

The harsh reality is, there are a million excuses for him to not do something. He was stressed, had a lot on his mind, distracted, his phone died, he was tired. But you know what? When a man really likes you, that trumps all. He may slip up once in a blue moon in one of the ways mentioned in this list, but if he consistently forgets to do those things, you may have to question how deep his feelings are for you. It’s painful, but in the long run you’re doing yourself a favor facing the truth rather than making excuses for him. Find someone else to really be in to you.

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