Just Say “NO” If He’s Already Taken (‘Girl On Top’ Column)

August 9, 2010  |  

“Girl On Top” is a weekly sex column on Madame Noire. Stay tuned for more topics, comment or write us at editors@madamenoire.com if you have suggestions!

We’ve all met him before: attractive, charming, interested…but in a relationship with someone else. It’s a hard thing to do, but friends, you must learn to say ‘No. No. HELL NO!’ when tempted by someone else’s lover.

Most of us will find ourselves in a position at some point in our lives in which we are on the other side of the coin: attached to a lover who may say ‘yes’ to monogamy when you two discuss it, but say ‘no’ when outside of your line of vision. Don’t let an affair with someone else’s love sully your romantic karma. You’d hope that if your beau or best girl was tempted that the woman in your shoes would have the same strength of character, right?

Perhaps he and his woman are having “issues” or will “break up soon.” Well, wait until then. There is no need to complicate your life and your heart for a piece of a relationship. If this person is so head over heels for you, then he should be able to walk away from his other commitment.  If circumstance doesn’t permit that to happen- say they can’t separate financially or there is a child involved, then the last thing you should do is join in this circus. Wait your turn or better yet…find someone else. Easier said than done, but it shouldn’t be.

YOU deserve a relationship of your own. YOU deserve to be loved in the spotlight, not in the shadows. And if it’s purely a physical thing, why then you have no excuse. There is plenty of unattached loving out here…get you some.

At the end of the day, the primary person responsible for having an affair is well, the one who’s having an affair.

No matter what someone chooses to do with their wandering affections, YOU are the keeper of your karma and your reputation. Be selfish enough to say “I want it all to myself” and hold out until that is the case.

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