Stupid H*e Isn’t So Stupid: 7 Other Random Videos That Should’ve Been Banned

February 2, 2012  |  
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I’m sure you heard about the fact that the honorable folks over at BET decided to ban Nicki Minaj’s video for the track “Stupid H*e.” Depending on who you ask, that was an awesome decision to some sick of tasteless and mindless music, while it was a sexist and stupid decision by others. To keep it pretty real, BET is known for not having the best taste when it comes to music video choices, allowing the most ratchet and somewhat tasteless videos by rappers to get clearance but wanting women to stay ladylike: they’ve also banned Ciara’s sexually charged video “Ride,” and Teairra Mari’s pretty harmless “Sponsor” video. But all in all, I’ve seen a lot worse. We could run down a list of the very disgusting Tip Drill-esque videos BET has shown late at night with all the booty bouncing and credit card sliding, but instead, we’re running down some of our favorite stupid videos that we probably could have lived without seeing. If they were banned we probably wouldn’t have felt any real way about it (*Kanye shrug*).

Keri Hilson “The Way You Love Me”

It’s Miss Keri Ba-by! But we’re not as excited about this video as we are to say her name. From the random bounty hunter premise to catch the guy from Stomp the Yard, to the coo popping in the camera, random cameos (Faith and JoJo?), calling each other “bad b****es,  and gyrating and licking on a door, this video seemed extremely pointless and confusing. If you were a guy, you were probably very entertained. If you were a sista, you probably wanted Keri to put some pants on and put them on ASAP. And we’re giving you the clean version. Trust, the song and video are ten times worse when you hear it with the F-word.

LMFAO “Hot and I Know It”

Love the song, almost lost my lunch to the video. If you thought Keri’s gyrating was bad, the gyration of a flaccid man part in a Speedo has to be horrible. And the crazy thing about it is that this was the whole premise of the video. Men in loud Speedos making their junk bounce dead in front of the camera. Can’t say it’s the absolute worse thing I’ve ever seen, but with what they weren’t packing, it comes pretty damn close.

Tyga “Rack City”

When did it become the “It” thing to make every video about a bank robbery? You’re not hard because you rob banks in a music video, and I think that’s what Tyga was going for with this hella random video for the catchy but crappy track “Rack City.” With stripper Blac Chyna as the main video girl, the foray into the strip club (there’s another video version strictly in the strip club) to throw “huneds” (aka, hundred dollar bills), the in and out storyline and the very muscular woman playing golf in a bikini, it’s pretty clear by the 1.00 minute mark that you’re watching the absolute most and the least at the same time. Check the recommendations on the side and watch something else.

*Note: Apologies for the language in the video…

R. Kelly  “Trapped in the Closet” Series

It was the music video series that never ended, and according to R. Kelly, will be coming back very soon (*sad sigh*). There was everything from midgets to stray condoms, and so many secrets, that by episode three you just want it all to be over and done with. What started off as an entertaining track and interesting video became like a nightmare with a questionable cast (what was Omar from The Wire doing in that mug?). This foolery should have been banned also because of the cheesy cliffhangers: “Now pause the movie cause what I’m about to say to y’all is so damn twisted, not only is there a man in his cabinet, but the man is a midget! Midget! Midget! Midget!”

What?

Mary J. Blige “Deep Inside”

I love Mary just as much as the next chick, but this whole dancing thing she’s doing has to stop. Like, 10 years ago. Make that more around 13 to be exact, because in 1999, MJB dropped the Mary album and the jam, “Deep Inside.” Love the track! However, the video is all over the place and even creepy at times. What’s up with the crew and fans’ faces distorting and becoming demonic? It makes my skin itch! And what about the lace trench coat that she had miraculously slide off her arms while walking down the street? The worst part of all might have come in the form of the dance break when Mary does an off beat dance routine to a whole other song in a red leather getup. Love Mary. Hate this video. After What’s the 411? and My Life, the dancing Mary we loved from “You Remind Me” and “Real Love” for some reason lost her rhythm…

ASAP Rocky “Purple Swag”

I don’t know when it started, but this whole trend of young white kids saying the N-word for the cool points of their black friends is killing me softly. I actually enjoy ASAP Rocky’s flow from time to time, and the beat to this ode to Southern swag is very nice. However, when you start the video off with a young white girl with a gold grill saying the N-word without a flinch or a care, it kind of throws everything else off. It’s mind boggling what a lot of young people think is cute and acceptable. FAIL. Try again!

Deion Sanders “It Must Be the Money”

I had to do it. And I had to because this video is what inspired this story. Perhaps the worst athlete to get in the booth (and there are many bad ones), this video is so horrible that it somewhat becomes entertaining; It could be because you’re laughing at Deion more than laughing with him at the haters. His attempts at dancing in this video look like spasms and the colorful suits scream early ’90s tackiness (good times…). If Pilar needed any proof that Deion was going to be a hot mess, she should have checked out this video. It’s clear the man was feeling himself more than anybody else. That’s crystal clear when you spend a majority of a video looking at yourself in front of a mirror…

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