Checking Your Baggage: Sorting Through Your Issues Before Settling Down

January 26, 2012  |  
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Another relationship lost. It’s something that I’ve become quite familiar with ever since my first day as a freshman in high school. On that day, my first love called me up after dodging me in the hallways all day to tell me that our summer loving was coming to an end and that he wanted to break up (and by the way, he wanted his jewelry back as well). To be honest, those next few years of high school hurt a lot until I did some honest soul-searching.

With other relationships came more breakups, but more than simply slaying my exes with the insults that I never said directly (“Your breath stank anyway!  You should be happy you had me! THIS is your new girlfriend?  I’m just saying you can do better…”), what really helped me was taking a good hard look at all of my relationships and understanding what I could learn from them about myself (along with my “I Hate Men” mixtape complete with the sounds of Tamia, Kelly Price and a pissed off Foxy Brown).

One of the biggest things that can sink a new relation-ship (get it?) is the heavy burden of past issues.  Some may say the best way to get over an old relationship is to start a new one.  But what they leave out is that this out of the blue new relationship should be the one you revisit with yourself.  When you serial date and jump from relationship to relationship, you lose the ability to look at each relationship on its own because you’re too busy comparing it to the last one.  Before you decide you’re ready to move on, check your baggage by asking yourself the following:

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