Should You Be “Friends” With Your Ex? Ways You’re Letting Him Back In

January 19, 2012  |  

They call ’em an “ex” for a reason. And while we’d love to breakup with all of our boyfriends and find ourselves on good, positive terms with them soon after, sometimes feelings get in the way, drama ensues, and you find yourself on an irritating emotional rollercoaster you thought you had left behind when the relationship ended. Some ex-boyfriends can wind up being great friends, especially the ones you weren’t with for a long time, or the ones you were homie-omies with before partaking in a relationship. However, others can be a pain, and end up being the guy you’re so NOT subtly talking about on your social media statuses and with friends about all the time. Per all the Rihanna and Christopher Brown rumors and drama, know that if your breakup isn’t that old and you’re both already trying to find some type of door back into each other’s lives, you need to be mindful of the things that can happen when you let the wrong “one” back in.

You might trick yourself others into thinking you’re “just friends,” but if you still are feeling him in some deep way beside the mutual friendly love, you could be using this friendship as a stepping stone to a relationship again. You’re supposedly done, but in both parties’ minds, you’re just on break. You’re thinking that he might come to his senses while you keep friendly, and who knows, maybe you’ll end up together again someday soon. However, while you harp on the past because it’s dead in your face (or texting you as you read this), you could be blocking yourself from the chance to meet a better man who could do a better job at keeping you happy. If you want to be friends, that’s all good and dandy, but leave it at that, and leave your feelings at the door. But that’s a difficult task, right? Especially when a friendship allows you to know the ins and outs of his life–what he’s up to, and of course, who he’s dating now. You put on that uber-fake smile and try and be polite, but inside you’re talking ish aren’t you?

Most importantly, if the shoes are switched and he’s looking for something and you’re not, then you have a problem, if not a pest on your hands. Straight up, you’ve inadvertently lead him on. He thinks by you accepting him back into your space with his same ‘ol drama and problems that you would possibly be willing to give him a second try. Not the case? Better make sure “boyfriend” knows what’s up from the very beginning so you can save yourself the time and energy and for him, a lot of unnecessary pain and aggravation.

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