Let’s Be Real: Things in Life You Need to Blame Yourself For From Time to Time

January 16, 2012  |  
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There are times when we want to blame the world for our issues–for the jobs we hate, the men in our lives that we can’t stand anymore, the friends who have done us wrong. That’s all fine and dandy every once in a while, but the time comes when we have to also look at ourselves and take blame for constant bad decisions and bad people in our lives. You live and you learn, and then you do better. Because we all need a reality check from time to time, here are a few things you need to figure out on your own rather than doling out blame to others.

Your Friends Can Be Triflin’

I’m sure everyone has had that friend who behaved more like a close enemy, rather than a bestie. They were very good at trying to steal your shine or even worse, were nowhere to be found when you needed them. And then we’ve had those friends who do things that irritate and hurt you, but seem oblivious to their mistakes–they don’t realize they’ve been a jerk. I’ve found that the more we brush our issues with our “friends” under the rug and smile in their face in the meantime, the worse they get and the more we’re setting ourselves up for pain. Sometimes it’s better to just confront the girlfriends in your life about the things they do that hurt you and hope for change, rather than to stay mum about it, let your anger boil over and explode at them with a list of complaints and resentments that paint them out to be the worst person ever. If you don’t let someone know they’re doing you wrong, how can you be mad if they don’t just miraculously change for the better?

You’re Not Moving Up at Your Job

So the chick you can’t stand who is the biggest but-kisser in the company to you was promoted to a supervisor position, and you’re mad. That would be understandable if it weren’t for the fact that said brown noser was actually a very dependable worker who comes up with innovative ideas, and comes to work early and stays late to make things happen. You, on the other hand, come to work when you can (a couple of minutes late if not 15-20), you let others talk over you in meetings when you actually have ideas to contribute, and when the clock hits five, YOU’RE OUT!  And it even hurts you when you’re getting the bare minimum accomplished on the daily, and don’t seem to be a worker eager to help others get the hang of things. Not to say you don’t deserve to be upgraded one day, but instead of cutting your eyes at the individual who gets a new opportunity, worry more about yourself and what has been keeping you from climbing up the ladder. If you know you love to be late and few people in the company can vouch for your work ethic (which you believe is amazing), it might help to do something about that.

Funny Money

In this economy, some people can’t help the amount of money they have–or the lack thereof. If you don’t spend your money on your priorities first and fancy things you don’t need instead, you can’t look at anyone else crazy when you’re wondering why your lights are going to get cut off, or when the interest on your credit cards comes back to haunt you due to late payments. Sometimes we all just don’t have a lot to work with when it comes to the money we have to pay bills, but for those of us who do, but don’t budget it well, you can’t really blame anyone else but yourself when your landlord comes knocking.

Your Man is a Mess

You’ve done so well for yourself–you have a good job, you’re independent, and because of that, the men swarm you. But, you’ve got a man. Too bad that man is not trustworthy and is always asking you for something rather than offering you something. Sometimes we let people in our lives and allow them to stay in our lives even though we know they aren’t building us up–but rather, breaking us down. If you can’t see a happy future with the current man in your life and you partially knew that he was going to be a mess from the beginning but ignored it because of other “perks,”(you know what I’m saying) then it’s your own fault if you let him drag you down. You can’t change a man that doesn’t want to change, so don’t spend your precious time running behind that fool if everytime he’s around you’re humming Janet Jackson’s “What Have You Done For Me Lately?”

Your Clothes Are Getting a Little Tight…

If you were wondering why your jeans are not fitting anymore and you know you haven’t been getting into any real physical activity, nor have you been trying to watch what you eat, than we all know why your waist has expanded. Whether you’re sitting out from going on walks or not going to the gym because of your hair or because you simply don’t feel like it, you shouldn’t be surprised if your favorite dress isn’t fitting, or if you’re struggling to get up the stairs of your job without needing a good, long moment to catch your breath. Chances are, your clothes didn’t shrink in the dryer–you just might have packed on a few pounds, and that’s fine! But what are you going to do about it before a few pounds turns into a bunch?

The Lack of Spice in Your Life

It’s the weekend! (*Turns on “This is How We Do It”*) These are the few designated days (outside of “Thirsty Thursdays”) to meet new people, dance and prance and be free to act a fool, but for some reason, you’re treating the whole weekend like a Wednesday. You’re sitting on the couch doing a whole lot of nothing when you should be out mixing and mingling! Of course, we all have those days where we want to stay in, stay warm and cool out by watching a favorite movie or reading a book, but you can’t be surprised or sad that you haven’t beee exposed to new people, met guys, and just had good, clean fun when you haven’t made an effort to get up and get out. And just a warning, if your girlfriends always hit you up about something fun to do and your response is always no, don’t be surprised if they stop calling…

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