Real Talk: Have You Paid On A First Date?

January 13, 2012  |  

by Selam Aster

As I was browsing my Google reader and scanning my favorite online mags and blogs, I noticed an article on Essence.com which tackled an all too-popular topic: men insisting on going Dutch on the first date. The author of the story titled “Girl’s Best Friend: Where Have All the Gentleman Gone?“, Nathan Hale Williams, lamented the dearth of gentlemen out there while recounting a story he heard from a platonic friend:

“She’d gone out with a guy for dinner and he suggested that they “split the bill.” Granted, my sister-friend does very well for herself, but the guy she went out with has a good job too. More importantly, he asked her out on the date. I totally understood why she was upset – her date didn’t get it.”

I’ve heard so many of these stories of men not paying on first dates that, at this point, I have to believe that enough women are doing the paying and promoting this trend. Let’s face it: this kind of behavior wouldn’t exist or persist unless there were enough women enabling the behavior. Sure, I do believe that if you’re bold enough to ask a man out, you better be willing to pay for your first date. But I want to hear from women who actually pay half or all of their bill on the first date, initiated by the male. Obviously, if we want to put an end to the lack of chivalry these days, we’re gonna have to be honest with each other and work together to uphold standards. I’m not saying you shouldn’t start paying by the third date, but I think it’s only considerate to treat a lady you asked out the first couple of times around.

Ladies, speak up in the comments section and let’s get real. Are you promoting the degradation of chivalry or are you really striving to be complete equals from jump?

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