Infidelity DNA Tests: How Far Would You Go to Test Fidelity?

January 5, 2012  |  

I’ve done a few drive-bys in my day—no, not the kind where you shoot up someone’s house. The ones where you and your girl take a ride past her man’s house in your car because he doesn’t know what you drive and you don’t want to get caught, she just wants to know if he’s really at home like he said he is—yeah, those kind.

I’ve also checked a few emails, a Facebook message here or there, but I never went through a man’s phone. There was only so far I was willing to stick my nose because I knew at some point I would drive myself crazy, and if I had to do all that, it was probably time to go anyway.

A paternity lab is breathing new life into the word snoop with infedility DNA testing that allows men and women to send in their partner’s underwear, boxers, tighty whities, panties, etc. for DNA testing to determine if they’ve been faithful or not. Creepy, right?

“The process is real simple” says Kip Charles, the man behind the operation. “Just provide us an article of clothing, preferably underwear or panties and we will do the rest. We can identify if semen is present, make sure it’s viable for dna extraction and then do a final comparison to make sure the DNA belongs to the correct person.”

“Most of the men callers want to check for someone else’s semen in their wife or girlfriends panties,” according to Tashunda H., one of the lab’s “specialists,” “but the women all want to know if female DNA is present in their husband or boyfriends underwear.”

The price for whatever piece of mind this testing could provide isn’t cheap either, running slightly under $200, plus it just isn’t practical. Your partner would have to have unprotected sex, stain their undergarments, and leave them somewhere in your home where they were accessible to you. By the time you packaged them, sent them off for testing, and got the results, you could have a disease. Probably makes more sense to stick to the tried and true method of simply asking: where were you last night?

I’m assuming none of you has ever gone this far to prove your man was creeping, but what is this craziest thing you’ve done to see if a man was faithful or not?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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