7 Signs You’re A Relationship Addict

January 5, 2012  |  
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No one wants to be alone forever, but a stable, self-confident person doesn’t actually think “oh my GOD I’m going to be alone forever” just because they are alone for a couple of months. Only a true relationship addict goes into panic mode the moment they are unattached—that’s where the addiction comes from. You know you’re an addict if you do this:

You’re a chameleon

He’s into sports; suddenly you have every type of paraphernalia for his favorite team. He is super clean cut; you throw out all of your ripped jean skirts and Kardashian looking dresses. He is a major partier; you throw back some red bulls, purchase a clubbing wardrobe and feign excitement about every guest list he gets you on. You should never give up your identity just to be with someone. That’s a big thing to give up. So, if you find yourself doing so, it’s probably because you’re terrified of being alone.

You become heartbroken fast

You feel devastated when a guy breaks things off after only a few weeks, or even a few dates. If you look around, most women aren’t wallowing over a guy they barely knew. This only happens if you had pinned a lot of your hopes on him. The heartbreak always correlates with the hopes and if you’re a relationship addict, you let those hopes get carried away quickly.

You’re rarely single

This is a pretty obvious one, but to some maybe not. Some people think “well I just happened to meet someone great right after my last breakup” but the truth is, you shouldn’t crave being in a new relationship right when you’ve ended an old one. A non-relationship addict craves time to wallow and digest their feelings over the breakup. An addict sees no reason not to just move onto the next one.

You move too fast

You go away for the weekend with him after only a couple of dates. You take him to meet your parents after a couple of weeks. You move in together after a couple of months. Essentially, you need to feel like someone’s “everything” and fast. You don’t have enough self-confidence to handle the regular, healthy pace of dating—of getting to know someone and letting them get to know you and earning their affection over time. You want a relationship now.


Your self-confidence wavers with your relationships

You’re low functioning at work when you’re single. In fact, you’re low-functioning everywhere. You’re a downer to your friends. You barely talk when you’re out at a bar. You don’t feel like what you have to say is worth much when you’re single. But when you’re in a relationship, you’re the life of the party, you’re vibrant and on top of your game. The trouble is, all of that is fragile. And can be gone as soon as you breakup.

You go crazy during breakups

You text him, call him and email him all kinds of crazy messages. You tell him you love him in one. In the next you tell him he is an a-hole. In the next you say you didn’t mean it, that you just miss him and you want him back. You show up at his house. You sleep with his best friend. Essentially, all of your screws go loose. Your sanity depends on being in a relationship.

You date a lot of taboo people

Your best friend’s brother, your ex’s best friend, your boss, your teacher. A stable person who feels self confident without a relationship and doesn’t have insecurity clouding their vision has enough perspective to realize “I don’t need to date my teacher/best friend’s brother/ex’s best friend. There are plenty of fish in the sea. I should throw this one back.” You don’t think we’ve all been attracted to someone we shouldn’t be at some point? Of course we have. But, only someone itching for a relationship goes for it.

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