While talking to my mother the other day, we fell upon the topic of men. We started discussing “my list” of characteristics and things I would hope to have in a mate. What I was looking for was the usual, however, my top five list failed to mention anything concerning religion. When I think about the relationship that I want, I often think that there are more important things to worry about in a relationship than a person’s religion. But when conversing with a married friend of mine, she mentioned that when she and her husband were dating, she realized that he was not as spiritually grounded as her–but she let it go. Looking back, it may have been something necessary to confront because their religious differences have had an effect on their relationship. It’s funny (well, maybe not funny exactly) how religion can matter so much to one person and not to the other, and how that can make and break a relationship. So I’m wondering, what role does religion play when you are looking for a mate?
Just to be clear, when I say that religion is not high on my list, it doesn’t mean it’s not on there–It’s just not in my top five. I would put things like trust, commitment and honesty before religion, but that’s just me. Whether a person is Catholic or a Christian and believes in the things I do, they can still break my heart because that’s not necessarily what a relationship should be solely based upon.
On the other hand, I’m a little torn at times because I have been going to church since I was a little girl and I do believe that going to church and being exposed to the word of God makes you a better person. Church teaches you the kind of person you ought to be. A man, who is familiar with a higher power, may have a different outlook on life and love. His relationship with God will teach him what kind of man and father he should be, and in the end, there is no better example.
I feel like every relationship should have the same foundation. Relationships should be based on love, trust, respect and commitment. While those things are integral to making a relationship work, not necessarily what both parties believe in, I do believe that a god-fearing man is the kind of man you want by your side when things take a turn for the worst. For example, if you’re going through a rough patch in your relationship, a god-fearing man will try to stay by his partner and dedicate himself to making it work. When trying to form a lasting relationship with someone, the hardest part can be trusting them with your heart. It’s much easier to trust someone with your heart when they have God in theirs.
Maybe I should move religion up on my list because when life hits you hard, it’s nice to have someone with you that has the same religious foundation. But, I also won’t let myself get fooled by every man holding a bible.
Would you be with someone if they didn’t share your religious values?