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There comes a point in every romantic journey when it may be time to make some serious decisions. Decisions about whether you’re ready to get serious and settle down, or whether or not you need to move on to someone new after feeling like a relationship has run its course. You may have realized that the woman you once were is not the woman you are today. No matter where you are in your relationship pathway, the question of time always comes into play. How many dates do you go on before you realize there is no chemistry? How many chances do you give someone until you feel a spark? How long do you wait for your dream guy until you settle for someone else? When it comes to matters of the heart, timing really is everything.

Black women have been given a bad name when it comes to anything involving marriage and relationships. Depending on what you read you will get a different answer concerning this topic. One source may tell you to be open to dating outside your race because it’s statistically impossible to find a black man in this day and age. And Steve Harvey, the self-proclaimed know-it-all about black women and dating, might tell you something entirely different altogether. We’ve been accused of having unrealistically high standards, but what exactly constitutes a high standard? Are your standards too high if you want someone who is financially secure, emotionally available and stable? I say no.

However, the reality of the situation is that it’s getting harder and harder for black women to find their match among black men. So how long do you wait for love the old-fashioned way until you take it into your own hands? How long do you hold out and wait for Mr. Right? Two months? Six months? One year? It may come to a point when it’s time to take love by the reigns. This particular subject is definitely difficult for me. I like to consider myself traditional in many ways. In a perfect world, I would like to think that my dream man will find me in the most unexpected but romantic way and we can start a beautiful life together. This requires no initial work on my part. But in this day and age, I may have to join and find him there. Or I may have to attend a mixer when I would rather be relaxing and run into him that way. Basically, like many women today, I may need to tap into my dating resources to find someone for me.

It may not be as easy as bumping into Mr. Sweepmeoffmyfeet while I am out with my girls, à la black romantic comedy style. Finding love takes work and time.  Of course there are relationships that are the classic rendition of boy meets girl, girl likes boy, boy and girl fall in love. But with statistics looking as high as they do, maybe we should stop sitting back and waiting and start having control over who we allow in our lives and how we love. Nothing works for every woman, but at least you can say that you tried something new.

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