What Love Does Not Look Like

December 27, 2011  |  

Black women often get a bad rap in the court of public open. We’re stereotyped as being sassy and loud, aggressive and uncompromising, or cold and overly independent. But we know the truth. Like all women, we wear many hats. There are times when we must be tough.  Conversely, we are loyal, doting and, on occasion, too lax with kicking the Negroes we love to the curb.

Yep, we’ve watched Sex and the City, Love Jones and Something Borrowed…and it has us all pining over our very own happily ever afters. However, contrary to New Edition’s lyrics (you know, “If it isn’t love, why does it feel so bad”), soul mates don’t hurt.

Here are some prime examples of what love doesn’t look like.

1.     He doesn’t invite you to meet his family during the holidays. Ok, ladies. Even if he has beef with his mommy or is embarrassed by his dad, the point is simple. He is supposed to care enough about you — and how you feel about assessing where he comes from — to bring you around.

2.     He won’t visit your family. Shy or not, a man who is serious is willing to gather his courage and present himself to your family. Yes, they will be evaluating him. But if his intentions are honorable it shouldn’t matter.

3.     He compartmentalizes your time together. A person who is serious about integrating you into his life does it.  You should not only be an element in his life. You should be part of it.

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