6 Ways Men Give Women Major Anxiety

December 26, 2011  |  
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What’s one of my favorite things about being single? Not having to deal with the emotional roller coaster that is a relationship. Constantly worrying about someone else’s well being, not to mention having your happiness so closely tied to someone else’s treatment of you, is exhausting. Just one road trip with your man—the arguing about directions, the wondering why he has been silent the past hour, the hoping he actually wants to visit your friends he agreed to visit—can make you need a Prozac. Essentially, relationships can give us anxiety. And men in particular can give us anxiety in these areas:

Sexual health

Men aren’t great at getting tested. Not to bad mouth the ones who are diligent about it but overall, women are much more punctual about it and insist on condom use more often. We’ve all at one point dated a man who says he was tested “recently.” But no matter how many answers we get, we never feel 100% certain that he waited the window of time necessary after an unprotected partner for anything to even show up in a test, and that if he did, he has had protected sex 100% of the time since. It’s a worry we constantly live with.

General health

Men push the limits a lot. They’ll go to Vegas for 48 hours with their friends, not sleep even one hour while they’re there, and pull back into town just around 7 am Monday morning in time to go to work. They struggle to remember to get general checkups unless someone reminds them. They refuse to admit that they’re cold and walk around in a t-shirt in 30-degree weather. They just don’t take care of themselves as well as women do. So the women have to worry.

Not calling back

Women have much closer relationships with their cellphones than men do. It’s just the reality. And sometimes men really let it get too far, to the point of not calling back for over 24 hours even though their girlfriend has left them multiple messages saying she is worried. But, he is on a fishing trip and wants to escape all things reality including the phone, or has just decided to sleep all day because it’s the weekend, so the woman gets to imagine all of the terrible things that may have happened to him.

“I need time”

Women want to talk things out immediately. Men often get super agitated early on in a fight and “need time.” They want to go for a walk, or go sleep at their buddy’s house that night, or just not see you for a few days while they think about what they want to say. This tortures a woman. Has he decided to break up with me? Is he going to just forever avoid the conversation? Every moment that we’re not talking during a fight makes our nerves go nuts.


Making reservations at a restaurant, booking a hotel room, purchasing airline tickets…women like to organize and plan. So, they want to lock down things quickly once they’ve conceived of something they want to do with their man. Men seem to worry a little less about life’s uncontrollable factors and can wait until the last minute to plan something.

“I need space”

These words are a dagger to a woman’s heart. I’m not sure why, but women just don’t need as much space from their men as men need from their women. It could have to do with the fact that women run on pheromones—the chemicals that are produced in intimate, social environments—and men can do without them. So, when a man says, “I need space” a woman reads this as “he is going to break up with me” because that’s what it would probably mean if she said it. In reality, he might just want a day or two to see his friends, run some errands, or vedge out alone on his couch and he’ll be thrilled to see you again after.

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