Fighting Fair: Is Your Friendship Worth Fighting For?

December 21, 2011  |  

by Natoya Brown

If I gained all of my knowledge of what it means to be a true friend from reality TV, I’d know that when it comes to fighting, all’s fair in Love and Hip Hop.  If you caught any of the latest episodes VH-1’s Love and Hip and Hop, you’re probably already pretty familiar with several of the feuds that are seething.  There’s the knock down drag out fight that erupted between Chrissy Lampkin and Kimbella after Kimbella revealed that she had a prior sexual relationship with rapper, Fabulous,  the father of friend Emily’s child.  (If you need a recap and our editor’s opinion of this particular episode, click here: Love and Hip-Hop Drama: Should Your Friends Be Fighting Your Battles?)  Of course in the land of reality TV, dropping ‘bows means raising ratings, but when it comes to the real world, at what point does a situation become so unmanageable that the only way a resolution can be reached is through bumps and bruises?

J.K. Rowling once wrote, “It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends.”  We all find ourselves in situations where we have to question whether we should stand beside our friends and fight with them or confront them and tell them they’re acting the fool.  Chrissy justified her brawl with Kimbella by saying she was standing up for her friend’s honor.  And while Kimbella’s confession did seem like an attempt to steal a moment that Emily had worked so hard to have celebrating her independence from an unhealthy relationship, I suspected Chrissy’s reaction had more to do with ill feelings for Kimbella she already possessed.

Kimbella’s confession merely gave her an excuse to do something she already wanted to do for whatever reason.  Denying a timid friend the opportunity to stand up for herself only makes her weaker.  It was also unfair of Chrissy to go swinging because it made the moment about her, and not about Emily.  When it comes to friends you truly have to choose your battles.  I couldn’t help thinking once again, “Why are these ladies spending so much time beefing about Fabulous who as far as I know until this day, claims no one?”  Truth be told, when men discover they have a bed buddy in common, the conversation turns into jokes and handshakes.  When women find out they’ve slept with the same man, the conversation turns into torn out tracks and cat scratches.  I honestly would have had more respect for the women if they had a toast to a lesson learned and had a Rihanna jam session.   Not everything is worth the battle, but more importantly, sometimes those battle scars are not rightfully yours to bear.

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