7 Civilized Ways to Hate on Somebody

December 16, 2011  |  
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There’s a little hater inside all of us, some much more so than others. Maybe you feel bad about it but despite your best intentions, the jealousy, envy and displeasure you have for others oozes out into the open.

Truth be told, it’s better to let it out in the open than let it fester in your heart and mind. But the last thing you want to do is make a spectacle of how much you’re hatin’ on someone, so here’s a few ways to dispense your frivolous displeasure for that she-creep at work or the jerk-in-law types, while keeping it moving, and most importantly–civil.

What email?

Got an email invite from someone you can’t stand? Delete it, then empty the trash bin. There, it’s done. Never happened. And when that person you can’t help hatin’ on comes by asking “what happened, why didn’t you show,” you can be all like, “You had baby shower–oh my goodness, I didn’t even know. Email-what email?”

The job reference hesitation.

Nothing’s more empowering than when your secret hate-crush (the polar opposite of a love-crush) puts your name down as a reference on a job interview. Don’t go overboard, answer most questions in a straightforward manner, but when the moment arises, drop an awkward pause to plant the seed of doubt in the interviewer.

Congratulations. You probably just cost someone a job, or at least a lower salary offer and they’ll probably never be any the wiser. Hater. I hope you’re proud.

Curse under your breath.

It seems like we’re often stuck working with people we’re destined to hate. Even worse, that person may be your supervisor or someone you work closely with. Maybe they’re always asking you to do something they could easily do themselves, and get paid to do. Maybe it’s a rival.

One thing’s for sure, this ain’t the streets so you’re inclined to open up a can-do attitude rather than a can of whoopass. But you can still curse them the f^#@ out! This works best as you walk away to handle whatever menial task that’s been asked of you or while facing another direction.

Breath it out, nice and steady like in yoga, “a%@hole, mother%$@!”

“What now?”

“Oh, I said, ‘ice cold, I’ll have another’–song I heard this morning. Can’t seem to get it out my head.”


People are always screwing up at work, without their bosses being any the wiser. There’s typically an email trail documenting incompetency and the patient and savvy hater waits until evidence lands in her inbox.

Maybe your secret hate-crush, the one who inexplicably landed the job in the first place, sends an email thanking you for saving her tuckus once again.That’s where the bcc field, also known as boss carbon copy, comes in. It’s located just below the cc field in your email and works the same way with one vital difference: recipients are not disclosed.

That means you can reply to her email, Bcc her boss, and put her BS on blast without her being any the wiser.

Be Dismissive

Strangely, people you stay hatin’ on have nothing but stupid things to say. Just dismiss them with words like “anyway,” “moving on,” and hush questions with “don’t worry about it.”

Walk it Out

You don’t have to sit or idly stand by, while the person who drives you invades you peace of mind. Do like Whoopi did when Bill O’Reilly came on The View. Quietly get up and walk on out. You may be a hater, but at least you’re polite about it.


Be “Anti”

As a hater, your opinion is one of your most prized assets. People thrive on what others think in one way or another. So when you’re not feeling someone, the opportunity to dispense your alternative point of view more often than not. All you have to do is be “anti” whatever your nemesis is talking about.

Sample Opportunity 1: “Hey, you like this dress.”

Correct Answer: “Ooh, no, that’s really not my color.”

Sample Opportunity 2: “Did you see last nights Glee?”

Correct Answer: “Ooh, no, I try not to turn on the idiot box too much.”

It’s that easy. Try it for yourself.

Bye haters!


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