7 Negative Thoughts To Stay Away From When Single

December 19, 2011  |  
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After you’ve been single for a while and all of your friends seem to be coupling up, it can be so hard to remember that it’s as simple as this: you just haven’t found the right guy yet. But you have to remember that, otherwise negative thoughts like these seep in and make it impossible to find him:

Is there something wrong with the way I look?

If you start thinking this, you’re going to start wearing too much makeup, shoes that you’re uncomfortable in, and clothes that simply aren’t representative of who you are. And you’ll have lost the one thing men find most attractive—a woman who is comfortable in her own skin.

Maybe it’s because I won’t sleep with them

Oh please. Men want you to think that so that they can get a one-night stand with you. But most men—if you do sleep with them early on—assume that things will not turn into a relationship after the fact-. So don’t go there.

Maybe I’m just not “relationship material”

Everyone is relationship material. There is no one mold that you have to fit into in order to be in a relationship. You just need to find a person whose specific mold fits yours. Everyone has quirks. Everyone is annoying in some way, selfish in some way, embarrassing in some way, and they just end up finding the person who loves that about them.

Maybe I’m too picky

You can’t help wanting what you want. And no matter how hard you try, you can’t convince yourself that you don’t want what you want. So if you have this thought, you’re just going to date the next decent/not-your-type guy that comes along to prove that you can. And that’s not fair to him or you.

Maybe I’m not trying hard enough

Are you stepping out of your house on a regular basis looking like you at least put some effort into your appearance? Are you acknowledging the presence of a man who tries to talk to you? Then you’re trying just hard enough. You don’t need to go on a rampage of striking up a conversation with every guy at the bar and joining every online dating site to feel like you’ve done enough. It will only make you look, and eventually feel, desperate.

Maybe I come off as too tough

So what if you’re tough? That’s who you are! Don’t start acting like Miss. Ditsy who laughs and is impressed by everything just to stroke a man’s ego. You may have to wait a little bit longer if you’re tough because men who can handle tough women are more rare, but that’s the man who is going to make you happy. So wait.

Maybe I’m not good enough in bed

The only place this thought will take you to is to the sex shop where you will find yourself buying all kinds of things you’ve never seen so that you can pretend to be an expert in all kinds of kinky mess you’ve never done with the next guy you sleep with. But it is so apparent when a woman is trying too hard in bed and isn’t enjoying herself. And not to be crass but, men are pretty much just happy to get laid. They aren’t giving you a grade.

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