It’s always easier to point out the flaws in others than it is to recognize our own. When it comes to selfishness in relationships, most of us are woefully oblivious to our inconsiderate ways. And as hurtful as our actions may be to the people we love, they’re usually not the result of malicious intent. Of course, unmindfulness is not a plausible excuse to continue down the path of selfishness. We should always strive to do better and be better for ourselves and the people who matter to us. The first step is always a self-check, so here are ten signs that you’re an inconsiderate partner:
You speak more than you listen
Inconsiderate people are more focused on communicating their own thoughts and feelings than listening to others. If you’re always the one who is dominating conversations with your partner, it might be time to dial it back and do more listening than speaking.
You give the silent treatment when things don’t go your way
Healthy relationships are about give and take. Partners should see one another as equal and there should not be a lopsided power dynamic and no one should be getting their way all of the time. If you’re always icing your partner out when things don’t play out in your favor, you should probably check yourself.
You forget to celebrate your partner
Self-centered people are often so fixated on themselves that they miss opportunities to celebrate others. Within a relationship this could look like missed birthdays, anniversaries and holidays. This can also look like failing to acknowledge a spouse’s academic or professional achievements.
You’re always right
Do you always have to have the last word? Are you dismissive of your partner’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions? No one wants to be with someone who is incapable of admitting when they’re wrong. If this sounds like you, consider connecting with a therapist who can help you to get to the root of this attitude and equip you with tools on how to do better moving forward.
You rarely say “thank you”
In any relationship, it’s important to show gratitude so that it’s clear you appreciate your loved ones and aren’t taking them for granted. If you never express appreciation to your partner for the things that they do for you and your family, today is probably a good day to start.
You leave your spouse to do the things you don’t feel like doing
The average person doesn’t find enjoyment in doing chores, but it’s one of those things that we simply have to do. There’s no real way around it. Leaving your spouse to handle household tasks you don’t feel like doing and failing to acknowledge that they likely don’t want to do them either is selfish and inconsiderate.
You’re always distracted
Everyone has interests and obligations outside of their relationship, but it’s also important to prioritize quality time with your partner. If you’re always focused on other things such as your phone or work when you should be spending time with your spouse, it sends the message that they’re not a priority in your life.
You never apologize
We all mess up from time to time. It’s part of being human. However, our mistakes can be hurtful to the people we care about and when this happens, we shouldn’t hesitate to apologize. Expecting our loved ones to just move on when we’ve wronged them in some way is both inconsiderate and immature.
Some people have a natural tendency to be hard on the people they love, but that still doesn’t make being overly critical of your spouse okay or acceptable. Constantly picking people apart is insensitive and hurtful. You don’t have to say every negative thing that comes to mind about a person.
Your wants always come first
Any relationship will require some level of sacrifice. Sadly, inconsiderate people will often put their desires over the needs, and sometimes the wellbeing, of their partners. While one may be able to continue in their relationship for a while in this way, this sort of selfish conduct will eventually eat away at the foundation of any partnership.