Self-care is all the rage these days. Naturally, self-care has its place. I’m glad that my generation (upper end of millennial—I must specify because one end of the spectrum is quite different from the other) has really put the emphasis on it. I’ve seen how many of my friend’s parents—the baby boomers—didn’t know a thing about self-care and could have really used it. Two of the mothers to two of my childhood friends come to mind. They always looked so tired. Their entire lives were dedicated to other people. They were always thinking of ways to make their children’s and spouse’s lives easier, more productive, and more fun, but they were never thinking of themselves. I just remember them putting on these tired smiles—forced smiles—while making yet another tray of dinosaur chicken nuggets for screaming kids running around, and while basting a chicken for a husband sitting on the couch. I wish I could go back in time and buy these women a spa day!
I know the self-care concept is strange and foreign to my parent’s generation, because when they simply say the term self-care, they either do air quotes around it, as if it isn’t real, or say something like, “You know, that self-care stuff your generation is into.” Really prioritizing self-care, working it into our regular lives, and discussing its importance seems to be a rather new thing. And, yes, my generation is onto something with it, but some overdo it.
Here’s the part I may get some pushback over, but I kind of believe that some individuals use the era of self-care to be more self-absorbed, and even potentially a little, hmmm, what’s a polite way of saying this…work-shy. Yes, self-care needs to be a priority, but a top one? The top one? That will come at the expense of other important things. So I have to ask, to all my peers who put #Self-care in most of their Insta posts, are you into self-care, or are you just selfish?
Cancelling over a tiny headache
I have a few too many friends at this point who believe it is perfectly acceptable to cancel our plans at the last minute over a tiny headache. Or over being “A little tired.” Or over feeling like they really just need to stay in and care for themselves today. So there I am, sitting around with nothing to do because it’s too late to plan with anyone else.