Times You Should Be More Forgiving
Learning to be forgiving, without feeling like a total doormat, is no easy task. It really is an art form. But, its an important one to master. You can’t just be militant, rigid, and uncompromising because, if you are that way, that’s how others will be towards you. And that makes for a very unpleasant life. If you choose to never be forgiving and never get off that high horse, you’ll quickly regret it. You will make a mistake. You won’t be your best self one day. And you’ll wish others would hold you to a softer standard but they won’t, because you didn’t do them the same courtesy.
Aside from the obvious selfish reasons, it’s also just good practice to be forgiving. The world is a better place when we are forgiving. Holding grudges and being judgmental doesn’t get us far. Naturally, we do need to use our judgment to decide who we allow to get close to use, who we lend money to, who we do business with, who we let watch our pets our children when we travel, and things like that. But there are still times, even then, when we do let someone in, they let us down, and it’s important to forgive before moving on.
There may also be situations in life where you encounter someone you’ll likely never see again, and you’d love to hand it to this person. It can be worth it to be forgiving then, too. In the moment, it can feel good to lose your patience with someone, but it’s amazing how much better it feels to be forgiving. It’s not a weakness. You’ll come to find you feel much stronger for it, and that others respect you more for being forgiving than for being uncompromising. Here are times we should be more forgiving.
A little tardiness
If someone drives an hour in traffic to meet you for lunch, attend your play, be at the conference you’re giving, or be at your birthday party, and they’re 20 minutes late, maybe give them a pass. It’s easy to say, “You must not care about me if you’re this late,” but, imagine how it feels as the other person who just drove an hour to be here, to be told she “doesn’t care.”