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It’s not uncommon for couples to reconcile in the middle of divorce proceedings. Most are ill-prepared for the stress and intensity of emotion that divorce brings. And for some, the process can actually help put things into perspective so they decide to call off the divorce and give the marriage another shot. Many couples have gone on to have successful marriages after reconciling mid-divorce, so if thought you were ready to pull the plug on your marriage, but have since experienced a change of heart, know that you’re in good company. Here are three good reasons to call off the divorce.

You both realize neither of tried hard enough to work things out

Marriage is work and the mere fact that you love each other isn’t enough to sustain a union long term. A successful marriage requires effort from both parties; however, we often lose sight of this truth because things are usually blissful and easy in the beginning. When the honeymoon ends and the real work begins, we sometimes tell ourselves that things are too hard and we begin looking to exit the marriage. It’s one thing if you’ve done all that you can to stay together, but if you and your spouse know in your hearts that neither of you has tried your best to save the marriage, it might be a good idea to pause the divorce and give it another go.

You’re doing it to prove a point

In a divorce, there are truly no winners. If you know in your heart that your sole reason for leaving the marriage is to prove a point or teach your soon-to-be ex-spouse a lesson, it may be time to reconsider. Building a life with another person is hard. There are so many factors to consider and you won’t always be thrilled about every decision you have to make as a family. Sometimes disagreements can get especially heated and the word “divorce” is thrown around due to frustration, just for the sake of “winning” the fight, or one-upping the other person in an argument. In these instances, partners should consider what they’re giving up before following through. In many cases, winning the fight is not worth losing the relationship. Couples in this situation should seek counseling and acquire resources that will help them learn to fight fair.

You think the grass is greener

In the age of social media and #relationshipgoals, it’s very easy took at another couple’s situation with envy. The reality, however, is that most people don’t publicize their relationship struggles. You should never use another person’s relationship as a yardstick to measure your own marriage because you really have no idea what is going on behind closed doors. There are no perfect partners and everyone falls short in some area. It’s best to truly consider whether or not you’re giving up a person who has most of the qualities that you desire in a mate simply because they’re lacking somewhere else.

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