Passé Marriage Advice You Need To Ignore

February 3, 2020  |  
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Smiling Young Woman With Bouquet Standing Against Plants

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People love to give marriage and relationship advice. Unfortunately, some of the most popular marital tips are actually quite terrible. Thankfully, as we continue to grow and evolve as a society, many of these directives, which are mostly rooted in patriarchal ideology, have faded into the background. But we all have that one elder member of our family or church community who doesn’t realize times have changed. So just in case you feel susceptible to advice from these elders, let’s take a look back at some terrible marriage advice of yesteryear which you can kindly dismiss and ignore.

A wife owes her husband children

In the past, it’s been preached that wives owe their husbands children and if she does not produce, she is a “half-woman” who should expect that her husband will stray because she did not perform as expected. Thankfully, mindsets have shifted and we have veered away from this hurtful and archaic way of thinking. Women are not baby factories and we are not obligated to subject our bodies to pregnancy for the sole purpose of pleasing a man.

This ring symbolizes my unwavering love and commitment to you

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You need to earn the ring

For decades, relationship coaches have taught women that a ring is earned and that the responsibility is on us to convince a man that we are worthy of his proposal. This mindset has significantly contributed to “pick me” culture, with women dedicating their whole existence to being chosen. Thankfully, we now know we are worthy just as we are and any man worth having will love us for our true selves, not simply for what we do to please him.

They just can't seem to face their problems anymore

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Wives shouldn’t “trouble” their husbands with their problems

In the past, wives were urged to always be a listening ear for their husbands and refrain from burdening their spouses by complaining about their silly problems. Today, we know a man should be a listening ear for us as well and that talking about our problems is practicing good communication, not burdening our partner.

It's either shake up time or break up time

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If you nag, he will cheat

Speaking of not troubling your husband, wives were also coached to refrain from nagging their husbands because nagging will eventually push him away. Today, much more responsibility is placed on the cheater than the person cheated on. While both parties may be responsible for the environment that led to cheating, no action can make a person vacate their vows. That choice is solely on them.

Together we're building an empire

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Marry the person who completes you

It was previously taught that your spouse should be your other half; however, we have since learned that healthy relationships consist of two whole individuals who come together to form a life together.

Afro-american woman holding her newborn baby while father sleeps

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Good wives and mothers put themselves last

Wives and mothers make tremendous sacrifices for their families, but somewhere along the way, women began to adopt the mindset that they have to martyr themselves for the betterment of their families. While this mindset still persists in minor ways, most women know they have to be healthy in order to take care of the health of their family.

It's either shake up time or break up time

Source: PeopleImages / Getty

A woman’s pleasure is secondary

For years, women have been lead to believe that the primary goal of sex is to please their husbands and that their needs don’t actually matter. Overall, it seems that this mindset has become a thing of the past even though there are some who insist on continuing to remain in the dark ages. Get yours sis.

Afro woman cooking

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Only husbands should be catered to when they get in from work

When your husband gets home from work, you should have dinner on the table, a clean house, and a smile on your face as you greet him at the front door. You should help him to relax after a long day of work and then present him with a delicious meal that you’ve spent hours preparing. Nevermind the fact that you’ve worked a nine-hour day as well, right? Nah. Today, women aren’t only demanding an equal division of household duties, there’s even a rise in stay-at-home dads as women increasingly become the breadwinners.

Relaxing Woman at Home

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Smart women don’t make good wives, so play dumb

For so long, women were lead to believe that they needed to dumb themselves down in order to keep a man. For the most part, wives are now viewed as equal partners and it’s not uncommon to hear husbands praise their spouses for their intellect as well as their accomplishments outside of the home. The super evolved ilk even know that there are some things their wives know more about than them and it’s best to let them lead when it comes to those areas.

Distraught and dishevelled

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Wives have to accept bad behavior for the sake of keeping the family together

For years, we’ve watched big mama put up with granddaddy’s poor behavior for the sake of keeping the family together. With this example before us, many of us have been trained to believe that a lasting marriage is a reward for enduring struggle love. Thankfully, we now know better. If someone repeatedly mistreats you, there is no honor in standing by them.

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