Arguments You’ll Have When Setting Up Your Home

January 22, 2020  |  
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adjusting to living with your partner

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The first time my partner and I moved in together, there was an adjustment period. We were just learning what it meant to be around one another so much, what each other’s night time and morning routines really looked like, how we could be when we were grumpy and had nowhere to escape to, how messy each one could really be, and things like that. It’s a lot. And then of course, there were some disagreements about how we organized and decorated the home. So, when we moved into our new place this month, I knew there’d be a few slightly rough weeks again as we got things organized. But the difference between the last place and this place is that we rented the last place and we bought this place.



When you buy a home, you can take all the usual arguments you have around cohabitating with your partner and multiply them by…ten. Or a hundred? It’s hard to say, but it’s much more intense. Now, we have incredibly strong feelings about how we decorate and care for the place. It’s not like we were terrible tenants or homemakers at the last place, but we were renters, so there was always that sense of we’re just transient here. I was pretty lax on some decorating decisions and just let him do his thing because I knew we wouldn’t be there for long. And perhaps we were both a bit lax on how we cared for/maintained/cleaned the place because we knew, in the back of our minds, if something went wrong, it’d be on the landlord to pay for it.


Now, this place is ours and all ours. No landlords. We are the landlords, so to speak. Tensions just run higher and opinions are stronger when it comes to setting this place up. I’m learning from my other homeowner friends that this is very normal, but it still isn’t fun. I can’t wait until this house is in order so we can get back to enjoying our relationship. Here are arguments you’ll probably have with your partner when setting up your home.

adjusting to living with your partner

Source: katleho Seisa / Getty

One wants to research

When it comes to the big stuff like dining room tables and bed frames, I want to do my research. I want to ask friends where they buy these things, I want to compare dozens of websites, and I want to go into brick and mortar stores to touch and see things in person. I need to familiarize myself with how materials look and feel in real life.

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