WOMAN to WOMAN: Sometimes You Have To Be Selfish

December 4, 2011  |  

When we usually hear the word selfish we think of someone who is stingy and self-centered. The term is hardly ever used in a positive context and it’s usually followed with some sort of derogatory statement. While our initial sentiments of hearing the term may be true at times, there is an upside and an advantage to being selfish.

Since we assume being selfish is such a bad thing we often put ourselves and our feelings on the back burner to spare someone else’s. We do this all of the time in relationships, by sacrificing our wants and needs to please and keep our man happy. In an effort to be a “supportive” woman, we end up being a self-less woman in a one-sided relationship. Forgetting about our feelings, well being, emotions and wants yields us nothing put pain and regret in the long run. Sometimes you have to put yourself first and make your needs known. Don’t you deserve understanding and support as well? Closed mouths don’t get fed and if you can’t speak up and express your desires than why bother being in a relationship?

Being selfish doesn’t mean that you don’t care about anybody else. It just means that you love yourself enough to not neglect your needs. Being selfish is just another away of remembering that you matter.  It’s a call to action to make yourself a priority in your life.  If you don’t put yourself first than who will?

If something isn’t working for you, don’t be afraid to say so and walk away if necessary. Stop wasting time hoping that someone will notice your unhappiness and miraculously make your life better. If your man is not treating you right, and the relationship is all about him then you are probably not being selfish enough. Know your worth and understand that your needs matter, because woman to woman, being selfish saves us sometimes.

Want to talk to me Woman to Woman or have a topic you would like addressed? Email me at rhooks@madamenoire.com or you can follow me on twitter @rashanahooks

 

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