You and your partner have a deal to lift each other up, to make one another’s lives better, to help make the tough things a little less tough, and to generally enhance each other’s experiences in this life as much as you can. That’s what a couple should do for each other. But, life has a way of distracting us from what matters, and even sometimes making us less-than-ideal partners. Life is a grind. You’re tired. You work hard. You’re irritated. You’re juggling a dozen things. You’re obligated to so many people. There’s traffic and dishes and bills and long lines and frustrating family members and disorganized colleagues. It’s hard to always be cheery and kind and loving. And it’s easy to slip up and become a little lax on being the type of partner you want to be.
The New Year is a great time to pause, reassess, and see how you’ve been doing in upholding your values—both in life, and in your relationship. When you are a good partner, and you have a good partner, everybody wins. A good friend recently said to me, “Care for your relationship, and then just let it bless everything else in your life.” I loved that, because it’s so true. We can make the mistake of feeling that prioritizing date night and things like that just interferes with our other responsibilities, but keeping that love alive with our partner actually makes us better in every area of our lives. Think of your relationship like the arms of your life: strengthen it, and it will easily lift everything up.
So if you know you’ve gotten a little lazy on keeping up those vows to your spouse, or doing those things for your partner you always said you’d do, this is the perfect time to find new energy to recommit yourself. Here are relationship resolutions for 2020.
When your partner wants to tell you about his day, listen. I mean really listen. Even if he needs to give you a backstory and explain certain terms to you so that you can understand what happened at his work, listen. Take in the information. Learn his language surrounding his industry, so you can be invested in his stories. Don’t just nod and say, “Uh-uh” to get those points for “listening.”