When You’re Calm And He Loves To Panic

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anxiety and relationship problems

Source: Marco VDM / Getty

Since opposites tend to attract, it’s no surprise that I wound up with a man who is a bit of a worrier, because I’m usually pretty calm. He’s the yin to my yang. He’s the moon to my sun. The metaphors go on. His anxiety is just one side of the coin of his personality. It’s a part of the best parts of him, too. He’s a hard worker with a very high motor. He has some serious drive, and I think some of that comes from his anxiety. He’s a planner who is super on top of things. So, in many ways, his anxiety serves him. Except for when it doesn’t. You just have to know what it means to date a man with anxiety.


If something goes wrong—big or small—my partner is the first to go into panic mode. He’s the first to insist that everything is f*&ked (his words) and we’re totally screwed. His brain has a way of jumping ahead and accelerating things to the worst-case-scenario. Again, that helps him in his career—it keeps him motivated—but isn’t very useful when anything actually goes wrong in life. I am blessed with a pretty chill disposition. I believe, deep down, that things have a way of working themselves out. The universe has gotten my back quite a few times in life.


While it’s easy to worry about all the ways something may go wrong, one day, hypothetically and just possibly, my brain fortunately doesn’t think that way. I know there are many, many things that may be coming my way—changes ahead—that may just fix things, so I won’t even need to step in. I try not to worry about issues that aren’t here, right now, because, truly, they aren’t real. My attitude mixed with my partner’s can be hilarious sometimes. Here is what’s it’s like when you’re the calm one and he likes to panic.


Unwanted parties are an issue

If we find out, at the last minute, that a slightly problematic friend or family member will be at an event, my boyfriend starts to panic. He thinks we shouldn’t go. He imagines the bad interactions they’ll have and how it will ruin his evening. He assumes the night is already over before it’s begun. It’s all he can focus on.

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