Men are not particularly known for holding one another accountable when it comes to their interactions with women. That’s why it was refreshing to see Papoose serving tough love via a much-needed accountability talk to his friend Joe Budden during Monday night’s season premiere of “Love & Hip Hop New York”.
Since May, we witnessed Joe resort to a gamut of evasive tactics and weird cringe-worthy antics to side-step the emotional labor and any level of culpability associated with his break up with ex-fiancèe, Cyn Santana. Initially, the “Pump It Up” rapper made light of the split, refusing to seriously acknowledge that it even happened.
“They were telling me that I had broken up with somebody. Right? Like how can I put on a show tonight like this? So, I want to tell—and this is breaking news— y’all are the first to hear it. We didn’t break up. We did not break up,” he said of the break-up rumors during a live taping of the “Joe Budden Podcast” last spring. “Now, words are important. So what does that mean? What that means is, neither one of us said, ’It’s over.’ Now, with that said, we haven’t spoken. [Laughs] We haven’t spoken in a little while. I think her phone’s been dead for a few weeks. Overtime at work. Plenty of reasons I can think of…Can you have a break up without saying it? I’m asking a very serious question. I’m asking for enlightenment from Tampa. Can you break up without actually breaking up? I didn’t take it no way when she moved all her sh*t out of the house.”
Joe’s passivity concerning his split from Cyn was telling. His selective wording and inclination to sit back and pretend as though he was somehow a spectator with no real role in the matter suggested that he wasn’t considering taking responsibility for anything anytime soon. For this reason, it came as no surprise when it was revealed on Monday night’s episode that he and Cyn still had not discussed the events that led to the breakup. According to his line of reasoning, the reason, the relationship ended because Cyn went through his phone and decided to leave him. He was laser-focused on the effect with zero acknowledgment of the cause. Thankfully, his boy Papoose had no qualms with calling him out.
“We went out on a date, she went through my phone and didn’t like whatever it was that she saw to the point where she couldn’t discuss it,” Joe explained during a scene with Pap and Rich Dollaz. “Cyn went in my phone, unbeknownst to me, and proceeded to misinterpret some things that she saw.”
Joe proceeded to tell his friends that he never cheated on Cyn; however, we all know that there’s much more to cheating than the physical act. While we don’t know what was found in the phone, he clearly crossed some kind of boundary if Cyn picked up and left the family she so desperately wanted to hold onto. Nevertheless, Joe intentionally leaves that part out in an effort to make her look irrational.
“There are rumors of infidelity. I didn’ cheat on her. When she went in the phone, it all looked irreconcilable to her,” he said.
“One of the things I’m noticing is that you not acknowledging that you was wrong for having that on the phone,” Papoose schools him. “You proposed for a reason, bro. Don’t be so quick to throw that away so fast.”
Joe continued in his efforts to shift blame, but Pap wasn’t having it.
“Pap, she ran. Don’t put that on me,” he said.
“She left. You know why? Because that shows that my woman ain’t gon’ tolerate me doing wrong,” Papoose replied.
“No, it shows that you lack effective communication as an adult. That’s what it shows,” said Joe.
“In that case, if you’re saying that about her when she looked in your phone and seen that, that shouldn’t have been a surprise,” Papoose said ending the debate.
Despite admitting that he wanted to “smack the Black Love hat” off of Pap’s head, ultimately, Joe receded and agreed that the best thing that he could give his son is a strong family unit with the first step being communicating with Cyn. Whether or not he will actually take complete accountability remains to be seen. However, what can be appreciated is the fact that Pap called him to the carpet and refused to allow him to engage in f*ckboy shenanigans in his presence. Perhaps if more men held each other to a higher standard in this way, we’d see fewer families ripped apart for reasons such as infidelity.