When People Tell Me To Have Kids “Just In Case”

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childless women

Source: SDI Productions / Getty

I’m in my thirties. I’ve been with the same man for nearly seven years. I do have a nurturing nature and so, the hawks are circling. Or should I say…the storks? People want to know whether or not I’m going to have babies. It’s a big topic of conversation whenever my partner and I get around just about anyone—especially our family. All of my friends who are having babies aren’t helping the matter right now. Each time a girlfriend of mine announces a little one on the way, I know I can expect that call from my mom where she says, “Another one of your friends is pregnant—I hope it’s contagious!” My partner and I are looking to finally buy a little home together, and everyone assumes it’s so that we can raise a family there. So it was much to my mother’s surprise (and disapproval) when she discovered the neighborhood we’re looking at doesn’t have the greatest school district. I’ve tried to tell people that we aren’t having kids, and you wouldn’t believe how many say something to the extent of, “Well, maybe you should, just in case you realize later you want them.” That is messed up, on so many levels.


I’m not a child

I know I mentioned my age but I’ll reiterate: I’m in my thirties. So, I already know whether or not I want kids. You know that phase of “Later” when I “May realize I wanted kids”—yeah, I’m in it. This is around the time when, if my biological clock were going to begin ticking loudly, it would do it. But it hasn’t. People talk to me as if I’m an 18-year-old saying I don’t want kids. I’m in my thirties.


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