You Think The New Person You’re Dating Is Dating Other People, Now What?

October 9, 2019  |  

Mixed Race Couple Enjoying Summer At Cuban Beach

Source: AleksandarGeorgiev / Getty

Some folks are very quick to commit to a new boo…in their minds. Even if no explicit conversation about “what are we” and “where is this going” has been had, many women make assumptions that they are the only one.

So it can be jarring when you suspect that the guy you like is dating other people. Even though it’s best to just, ask, you may want to mine through some evidence before pressing them on the issue.

Your love interest dating others could mean a lot, or it could mean very little.

“Dating other people may indeed be a sign that they’re not interested in you, and that’s OK.” Dr Gary Brown told Elite Daily. “It may hurt to come to this realization, better to know sooner than later.”

But it could also mean they are single doing their thing, and they assume you’re doing the same. Because you don’t know their “why,” make sure you approach the conversation without judgement.

“Don’t be angry and don’t criticize,” Dr. Brown advised.  “Simply ask them if they’re seeing other people, and if so, ask they’re going to continue doing that, or do they want to pursue something more with you.”

Whatever you do, don’t swallow your feelings. If you’re ready for exclusivity and the idea of them being with other folks makes your stomach churn, you need to let your opinions be heard. It may spell the end of your connection, but it’s better to cut your losses early than to be led on.

“You really shouldn’t be sitting on painful feels when you suspect that they are dating others,” Brown said.  “You need to be kind and courageous and have ‘the talk’.”

You could be pleasantly surprised and find that they are just as ready to be exclusive as you are. Imagine, all this fear and hesitation may not even be a thing. They could say, “No, I’m willing to let the others go for you,” and boom, you’re in a relationship. If not, that’s okay too. Take a break and let them know you would be interested in exploring a relationship down the line when they are ready to settle down. If that offer doesn’t work, take your readiness and hit the dating scene again. You won’t lose either way.

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