10 Ways You May Be Sabotaging Your Relationships

October 8, 2019  |  
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Sabotaging Your Relationships

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When it comes to matters of the heart, so many things are out of our control. You can’t control another person, which means you’re always taking an emotional gamble every time you open up to a new romantic partner. At the same time, we’re certainly not victims of our circumstances. There are many aspects of our love lives over which we have complete control. Unfortunately, a lack of awareness surrounding our actions and attitudes can cause us to unknowingly perpetuate a cycle of failed relationships. Here are 10 ways you may be sabotaging your relationships.


You’re stuck on a type

Sometimes the love of your life looks nothing like what you envisioned. Unfortunately, when we’re too rigid with our preferences, we shut ourselves off from the opportunity to get to know some amazing individuals.

Sabotaging Your Relationships

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You’re stuck on yourself

Healthy relationships require a somewhat even level of give and take from both parties. When one party is particularly self-centered, it’s difficult to establish a solid bond because one half of the budding love affair is only out for self.

Young African women with her dog relaxing at home

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You friendzone yourself

When we think of the friend zone, we often think of men. However, women friend-zone (or friends-with-benefits-zone) themselves more often than one might think. Playing house or giving a love interest boyfriend benefits with no actual commitment is almost always a set up for failure.

Portrait of serious young woman looking at camera

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You overthink everything

It’s very easy to ruin a good thing when we overanalyze every little thing. Making a habit of combing over every text message in search of deeper meaning or constantly replaying conversations in search of a sign that trouble is on the horizon will suck the joy out of your relationship with the quickness.

But I don't think I can...

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You don’t trust your judgment

You know when something doesn’t seem quite right, so trust yourself. Often times we find ourselves in undesirable situations not because we didn’t peep game, but because we didn’t trust ourselves to walk away when the red flags started popping up.

African American woman holding broken heart and ice cream

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You won’t let go of the past

Carrying around baggage from your past will never set you up for success in your future relationships.

Well that doesn't seem like a bad idea at all

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You place unrealistic expectations on your relationships

Some people expect their romantic partners to meet all of their needs. This mindset is both unhealthy and unrealistic. It’s unreasonable to expect one person to be responsible for all aspects of your happiness and contentment.

She is my foundation

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You fall in love with potential instead of reality

Getting deeply involved with a person based on what they could be as opposed to what you see in front of you will leave you with hurt feelings every single time.

It's always the right time for romance

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You fall too quickly

While you definitely don’t want to be too guarded, there’s also a such thing as being too open. Think of dates as interviews. Not every bozo who smiles at you is worthy of a permanent position in your life.

Beautiful black female getting ready

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You’re too pressed

When you’re too desperate to hop into your next relationship, it shows and it can be a huge turnoff. In addition, your eagerness to be in a relationship can severely cloud your judgment and cause you to make pot decisions.

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