How To Let Someone Know You Aren’t Ready To Be In An Official Relationship Yet

September 11, 2019  |  

Happy couple watching movie on laptop at home

Source: Morsa Images / Getty

Defining the relationship should be an exciting moment in the life span of a couple’s relationship, unless you aren’t quite ready to be exclusive. While there tends to be a lot of conversation surrounding women being ready to settle down, there are some of us who are okay doing our own thing for a bit–and there’s nothing wrong with that.

However, it can be difficult to let the person you’re feeling know that you aren’t ready to take the leap into exclusive territory yet. The commitment conversation should not be rushed.

“The goal is to be exclusive with the right person,” Alessandra Conti, celebrity matchmaker at Matchmakers In The City, told Elite Daily.

“The best way to truly learn about another person is to take the time needed to truly get to know them before making a commitment to them.”

Don’t feel rushed to say “yes” out of fear of losing the person, but it will be important to clearly communicate where you are emotionally in terms of the relationship.

“Communication and negotiation might not sound sexy early on, but [they] can be life-saving in the long run,” she emphasized. Telling that person, “I’m not ready to do this because…” is much kinder than saying, “I suppose we can be official.” CEO of JRNI Coaching, Noelle Cordeaux told Elite Daily.

An un-enthused “yes” might as well be a “no.” It’s a serious decision. Take the time to sit face-to-face. Let them know you like them, but you still want to get to know them more at the stage you are at.

“When you commit to being someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend, you are saying to them and to the world that you could potentially see someone more serious come of the relationship,” Cordeaux said.

And letting your boo know you’re not quite there gives them a choice to make a decision too. If they are okay with waiting it out, great! But if the need commitment right now, it’s okay to free them to move on to get what they want.

“Sometimes, people are simply mismatched in their needs and/or their willingness to participate in a relationship,” Cordeaux explained.



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