How To Know You Need To End Your Long Distance Relationship

September 10, 2019  |  

Happy Afro American couple

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Navigating long distance relationships takes a lot of patience. It can be extremely difficult to maintain intimacy when you aren’t physically close to your significant other, and traveling time and costs can blow your budget and your mind quickly. The mental and financial toll can definitely damage a relationship, even to the point where you may consider calling it quits.

There are a couple of signs to look out for to gauge if it’s time to cut your losses. First of all, you should still feel generally fulfilled in your connection. Research shows that long distant relationships (LDRs) can be just as satisfying as in person relationships, if not more.

“A lot of people who live long-distance feel their relationships have more energy, because you make the most of the time you have together,”  Lisa Vallejos, PhD, a professional counselor in Colorado, previously told Refinery29.

But if that energy starts to lag for longer than a season, it’s to take inventory of your relational health.

It’s also important to pay attention to how communication flows between you two. Talking via tech will be the lifeblood of your relationship in the absence of physical proximity, so if you or your partner stops calling or texting, that may be a red flag.

Dr. Vallejos explained that the bond between people in LDRs can be deeper because of how frequently they have to communicate to keep the love flowing.

“It forces you to communicate and get to know each other on a different level,” Dr. Vallejos said. “The only connection you have is by communication, so it can foster a deeper sense of intimacy.”

Consequently, for folks in LDRs, when communication breaks, intimacy does too. Ask your partner what’s going on if there is a gap in how often you speak, and adjust the relationship accordingly if proper comms can’t be maintained.

Last, pay attention to if your partner starts getting a little more envious about how you interact with people in their absence.

Dr. Vallejos said that LDRs without trust are “bound to be a disaster if you’re insecure or jealous.”

If communication sucks, there isn’t trust, and the energetic flow between you and your partner starts to wane, it’s okay to consider parting ways.

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