The Reason You’re Bored In Your Relationship May Not Have To Do With Your Partner

August 19, 2019  |  

He's my everything

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Relationships can get plagued by monotony very quickly. Living and sharing life with a significant other slowly removes the mystery of desire and replaces it with comfort and normality. Every couple goes through the rise and fall of passion–it’s pretty much unavoidable. But if you have become completely bored in your relationship in the process, the root of the issue may lie outside of your significant other and the dynamic you both share.

“One of the primary reasons [for boredom] is that, the longer the relationship is, the more likely we are to settle into fixed patterns,” relationship psychiatrist Dr. Laura Dabney told Elite Daily. 

Some of those ‘fixed patterns’ can include all of the romanticism folks tend to dish out early on but are unable to maintain once they are in the thick of the relationship.

“In my experience, one does not ‘suddenly’ lose interest in their relationship,” Dr. Dabney said of the pattern. “Typically, changes in the relationship takes a course similar to starting a relationship. It takes time and many events for it to change.”

But there are ways you can cross through the bored threshold with your loved one in order to break the routine. First, start to show appreciation for your significant other again.

“Forgetting why we love [a partner] may be the result of taking their presence in our lives for granted,” Dr. Gary Brown, a prominent couples therapist told Elite Daily.

“In other words, lack of gratitude is a key reason why some people get bored in even the best of relationships.”

Also, start communicating your frustration with your routine, boring relationship dynamic as soon as it starts to happen. Waiting too long can cause resentment and trouble to brew. Offer solutions like travel, or trying new things together to bring back the spark.

“When [relationship boredom] seems sudden, it’s typically because somebody has not voiced any problems until they are ready to leave or to try and fix the problem,”  Dr. Dabney explained.

“The problems and their following negative emotions can build silently until a boiling point.”

Last, take a look in the mirror. Are you happy on your own? People who aren’t invested in their own passion, hobbies and interests expect way too much from their romantic partner. You don’t want to be in a place where you are miserable every time your partner can’t entertain you or be present–that’s too much pressure.


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